I saw this just round the corner from my house and couldn't help but wonder what message people might take from it...
Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts
Monday, 2 November 2009
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Sowing the seeds of love, or of exclusion?
On Friday night a friend and I were outside our church, waiting to see if any of the guys from youth club would turn up, as it was closed this week. Having gone to see some of the guys I was walking back when I saw a woman, can in hand, pulling (presumably) her child, about 7/8, up by the hair. As the child swung for the mother, the mother retaliated by smacking her child on the face. This carried on a few times. The father, also can in hand, seemed to having nothing to say about this. With it being in the middle of the park, I was a bit taken aback, and I just stared at her for a while.
As she continued, I felt I had to at least say something. I walked over to them and, inquisitive and perhaps even smiling, she looked at me. All I said was something like "I'm sorry but..." and she told me to butt out, whilst the guy probably threatened me too. Of course it was what I expected. What amazed me though was how until I said those words she genuinely seemed to think that I could just as easily have been about to say "Alright?" or "Nice day...", as though what she'd just done in full view was perfectly normal.
The child later ran off, and then after the father followed her he came back and the rest of the family went home. I don't know where she was. I don't know if she got home. I don't know whether she wanted to go home. I don't know whether worse happens there. But I won't be surprised if, if it continues, one day she runs off and never comes back.
The Salvation Army recently released a report, 'The Seeds of Exclusion', for which interviews were conducted with many homeless people. It was found "that poor relationships with mothers often lead to antisocial behaviour throughout life". In addition, "[m]any of those affected are now themselves parents alienated from their own children". I couldn't help but wonder whether I was watching one of those seeds being sown. Perhaps the mother herself had experienced similar.
On returning home I had an interesting conversation with my housemate and his girlfriend about what I'd seen and about social ills in general. My housemate was keen to draw the line between poverty in the UK and in developing countries. He suggests that there are so many opportunities here that people are able to get out of it themselves, something those that are the poorest of the poor, living in third-world countries, simply don't have. I've often thought myself that poverty in the UK is practically optional. But what I've learnt over the last year is that the cause of poverty and other social ills in the UK is dramatically different to in the developing world. As the SA report suggests, the cause of a lot of poverty here is due to relationship breakdown. This could be with parents, but I have also spoken to people whose lives have crumbled after jobs have been lost, followed by their wife and then their kids, and eventually they're on the streets with alcohol, or worse, as their comfort. Whereas property rights, access to education and cheap credit are some of the major causes and solutions to third world problems, here it is relationships.
And that's why, whilst top-down policies may work elsewhere, they simply won't work here. If the problem is relationships you can't just give someone money. You can't just give them shelter. You can't just book them into detox. You need to get alongside them and befriend them. Show them that they are not forgotten. Show them that healing can come. Show that relationships can be forged just as much as they can be broken. X amount of funding, Y number of rehab programmes and Z new taxes and laws may look good on a list of things that have been done, but will they ever really solve anything by themselves?
So I believe relationships are key. And I also believe that it starts with you and me. We need to weed out seeds of exclusion and start sowing seeds of love.
As she continued, I felt I had to at least say something. I walked over to them and, inquisitive and perhaps even smiling, she looked at me. All I said was something like "I'm sorry but..." and she told me to butt out, whilst the guy probably threatened me too. Of course it was what I expected. What amazed me though was how until I said those words she genuinely seemed to think that I could just as easily have been about to say "Alright?" or "Nice day...", as though what she'd just done in full view was perfectly normal.
The child later ran off, and then after the father followed her he came back and the rest of the family went home. I don't know where she was. I don't know if she got home. I don't know whether she wanted to go home. I don't know whether worse happens there. But I won't be surprised if, if it continues, one day she runs off and never comes back.
The Salvation Army recently released a report, 'The Seeds of Exclusion', for which interviews were conducted with many homeless people. It was found "that poor relationships with mothers often lead to antisocial behaviour throughout life". In addition, "[m]any of those affected are now themselves parents alienated from their own children". I couldn't help but wonder whether I was watching one of those seeds being sown. Perhaps the mother herself had experienced similar.
On returning home I had an interesting conversation with my housemate and his girlfriend about what I'd seen and about social ills in general. My housemate was keen to draw the line between poverty in the UK and in developing countries. He suggests that there are so many opportunities here that people are able to get out of it themselves, something those that are the poorest of the poor, living in third-world countries, simply don't have. I've often thought myself that poverty in the UK is practically optional. But what I've learnt over the last year is that the cause of poverty and other social ills in the UK is dramatically different to in the developing world. As the SA report suggests, the cause of a lot of poverty here is due to relationship breakdown. This could be with parents, but I have also spoken to people whose lives have crumbled after jobs have been lost, followed by their wife and then their kids, and eventually they're on the streets with alcohol, or worse, as their comfort. Whereas property rights, access to education and cheap credit are some of the major causes and solutions to third world problems, here it is relationships.
And that's why, whilst top-down policies may work elsewhere, they simply won't work here. If the problem is relationships you can't just give someone money. You can't just give them shelter. You can't just book them into detox. You need to get alongside them and befriend them. Show them that they are not forgotten. Show them that healing can come. Show that relationships can be forged just as much as they can be broken. X amount of funding, Y number of rehab programmes and Z new taxes and laws may look good on a list of things that have been done, but will they ever really solve anything by themselves?
So I believe relationships are key. And I also believe that it starts with you and me. We need to weed out seeds of exclusion and start sowing seeds of love.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Not again... something needs to change
It's been a very interesting week so far with lots going on. Today I've been able to catch up with my cousin, who's coming to the end of his training before going into full service for the fire brigade. It's always good to catch up with people you haven't spoken to and this was no exception.
However, as we walked down the road to the pub, across the road there was a police van, a couple of police and tape cordoning off the street. We went in and sat down, and watched as an ambulance left, as more police arrived and as over a dozen police conducted an interview with reporters. It was obvious what had happened.
It's crazy, it really is. I don't understand it. I don't understand how people can wish to cause harm to other people, whatever the circumstances. But, whilst everyone will condemn what has happened, the trouble is that the seeds of it are demonstrated all around us. People just don't care about others, unless there is something in return for them. Cars/bikes go through red lights, because their convenience is more important than others' safety. Individuals gossip about those they know that have made a mistake or acted wrongly, because they want to be the centre of attention. Others will turn to petty crime like jumping on buses for free, taking stuff from work, or throwing their rubbish on the street, because they know they won't get caught, or they think it doesn't affect anyone.
I've heard politicians speak endlessly about how we're going to 'beat gun and knife crime'. I've been to many prayer meetings which seek to ask for an end to the violence. I've even heard politicians speak at prayer meetings and lift their prayers for an end to it all.
But this is just it. We don't get it. We want a quick fix. We want to roll out a policy, announce an amount of money that's been spent, a number of police officers that have been deployed. Or we want to spend a few hours saying prayers, asking God to intervene, seeking a divine stoppage to these atrocities. I believe policy can work, I also believe strongly that prayer works, but I also believe that this society is scarred, that it is fallen, and that the only way to bring healing to it is to live out God's standards - Kingdom values - and to change this society from its very core.
We need to start with ourselves, the choices we make and, much more than that, what our character, our essence, our very being is. When we change our heart, our actions will follow. Galatians 5:22-23 says that when we change our inner desires our life will be one of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control". That's what we need to bring about a revolution within this society. Only when we all do this, and it becomes not a chore, but the natural thing for us to do, will society begin to mend. Only then will these scenes of police officers, cars and tape be a thing of the past.
And I can't wait.
However, as we walked down the road to the pub, across the road there was a police van, a couple of police and tape cordoning off the street. We went in and sat down, and watched as an ambulance left, as more police arrived and as over a dozen police conducted an interview with reporters. It was obvious what had happened.
It's crazy, it really is. I don't understand it. I don't understand how people can wish to cause harm to other people, whatever the circumstances. But, whilst everyone will condemn what has happened, the trouble is that the seeds of it are demonstrated all around us. People just don't care about others, unless there is something in return for them. Cars/bikes go through red lights, because their convenience is more important than others' safety. Individuals gossip about those they know that have made a mistake or acted wrongly, because they want to be the centre of attention. Others will turn to petty crime like jumping on buses for free, taking stuff from work, or throwing their rubbish on the street, because they know they won't get caught, or they think it doesn't affect anyone.
I've heard politicians speak endlessly about how we're going to 'beat gun and knife crime'. I've been to many prayer meetings which seek to ask for an end to the violence. I've even heard politicians speak at prayer meetings and lift their prayers for an end to it all.
But this is just it. We don't get it. We want a quick fix. We want to roll out a policy, announce an amount of money that's been spent, a number of police officers that have been deployed. Or we want to spend a few hours saying prayers, asking God to intervene, seeking a divine stoppage to these atrocities. I believe policy can work, I also believe strongly that prayer works, but I also believe that this society is scarred, that it is fallen, and that the only way to bring healing to it is to live out God's standards - Kingdom values - and to change this society from its very core.
We need to start with ourselves, the choices we make and, much more than that, what our character, our essence, our very being is. When we change our heart, our actions will follow. Galatians 5:22-23 says that when we change our inner desires our life will be one of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control". That's what we need to bring about a revolution within this society. Only when we all do this, and it becomes not a chore, but the natural thing for us to do, will society begin to mend. Only then will these scenes of police officers, cars and tape be a thing of the past.
And I can't wait.
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