Friday 25 December 2009

The First Thought of Christmas - Is tolerance a good thing?

Putting to one side the title of this blog, and any thoughts you have about what you should say or do, read this statement and ask yourself whether you think this practice is something that should be celebrated and encouraged:


Apply this statement to a variety of scenarios. The child being bullied in the playground, the X-Factor winner claiming Christmas number one yet again, the tyranny of a country by an oppressive regime, a friend who always interrupts you as you chat with others at the pub, the ever-increasing belly that pertrudes from your torso as age takes its toll on your body's metabolism.

Each of these situations will, for many people, involve things that the individual strongly dislikes or disagrees with, things that really gripes them or drives them to despair. Obviously the extent to which they do will differ, and so too the reasons why. But in each of them, how many of us would turn, look at someone shrugging their shoulders and saying "oh well, not my business", and think to themself "wow; what a guy". And yet to me it seems that to hold up as a beacon of dignity, class and humanity this value of 'tolerance' is to do exactly that.



Some would say these signs each depict somewhat contradictory messages.

Now, we only have a limited amount of time and energy from which to act and, as such, for some things we might have to say maybe it really doesn't matter. In some cases our dislike may be down to a trifling matter of taste, and perhaps on these occasions diversity of taste is something to be embraced (although arguably whilst we might be inclined to think "yes, let the masses have their way and in droves buy the latest manufactured pop mush" perhaps instead we could make an effort to introduce them to the delights of the more acquired tastes of the latest offering of our favourite Philharmonic, or our idolised punk-thrash-metal band).

The main issue, I feel, is that people mix up arguments of tolerance versus intolerance with deciding how to express that intolerance. The desires that drove a million people to protest against the war in Iraq stem as much from intolerance as those that drove the armed forces of nations to depose Saddam Hussein and conduct the aforementioned war in the first place. Of course the action that resulted from those two incidences of intolerance differed dramatically, but, nevertheless, intolerance it was. Similarly, when faced with a playground bully you wouldn't think to tolerate it, but this intolerance could, on the one hand, mean giving the boy a thump, on the other letting a teacher put him in detention to write some lines and tell him not to do it again, or alternaitvely to seek to understand why he wants to do such a thing (has he been bullied previously, does he feel isolated, are there family troubles at home?) and help him to change and improve his life and those of them around him.


Interestingly, not many of the other Times articles mentioning tolerance (see below) have such a positive view.

As you can probably tell, my inkling in response to the question I pose in the title is that tolerance isn't all it's cracked up to be, something I was reminded of when reading the leading article in yesterday's Times ('A Time for Tolerance'). The writer brings up in his article the role of tolerance within the dynamics of the established Church - something I'll return to later in the week - but it is his closing statement that really puzzles me. He says that to fight the falsehood of other people's views is not the message of Christ, but rather that it is that "we are all, as children, equally blessed and must tolerate and respect what is good in each of us". This is the same Christ that said "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". Not really the language of someone saying "so basically do yer best and try not to annoy anyone". No, Jesus wasn't a tolerant chap, as witnessed in his turning of the tables in the temple, in the countless occasions he confronted the religious leaders of the day and, outrageously, stood up for the marginalised and down-trodden, and most importantly in how he allowed himself to be arrested, tried and executed, that he might die for the sins of the world.

Jesus could have looked at the wrong doings of people everywhere and said "that's OK", he could have let people go on their merry way, walking to their death oblivious to the consequences of their choices and actions, but instead he chose not to tolerate it, taking the one action that could actually do anything to change things and reconcile us to God. Even the nativity stories we may have read in the last few days make this clear.

So I wonder; is tolerance just the easy way out? Are we called to be intolerant of the things we see to be wrong and unjust and to make a difference? I have a feeling the answer is yes, but that still leaves the uncomfortable and much, much harder question - what are we then going to do about it?

Twelve Thoughts of Christmas - 2009's lessons

My blogging has been sparse the last few months, but every now and again I've jotted down some thoughts. Perhaps I should have done an advent countdown but I was too late, and, besides, this way I only need half as many thoughts! But anyway, here are some of the things that have struck me over the last twelve months.

Oh, and Happy Christmas to you all!

Thursday 19 November 2009

The 'gaul' of a man who only had to put his hand up (or not get his hand involved in the first place...)

It's the story everyone is talking about at the moment (no, not the Queen's speech, although maybe we can lead the way by introducing a bill encouraging people playing football to not use their hands...). Yes, it's 'Le Hand of God', which completed France's precarious path to qualifying for the 2010 Fifa World Cup, leaving the Irish pushed to one side, sitting on their backsides, with nothing but the knowledge that deserved to win on the night to be their comfort. In all likelihood they'd probably had rather have lost 1-0 than going out in such excruciating circumstances.


Some may say that my title doesn't do Monsieur Henry justice - he did indeed own up, even to the players whilst he was still on the pitch, but, to be honest, he might have well have kept quiet - what help is it admitting it then? At least if you're going to admit it express some kind of remorse. At the very least admit what you did was wrong and against the law and the spirit of the game, let alone good human nature. I can't believe Richard Dunne bought the cop out of it being down to the referee - the referee couldn't see, Thierry could see (not to mention feel) it. The job of the referee is to help enforce the laws of the game. He doesn't go around whispering in the ears of players to tell them not to foul people, not to use your hands or not punch someone in the face. There's some level of co-operation that needs to go on, where that natural inclination is for every player to stick to the rules and admit when they've slipped up if it's needed.


I think the whole episode says a lot about society. One, those backing Henry seem to have this mentality of 'you get as much as you can with as little as possible input', and these people seem to assume that everyone else wishes to behave in this way too. Fortunately, this isn't true. Being a proper man (or woman), is about having integrity, rooted in a sense of right and wrong, and striving to see a better world for all. Take away integrity and you become a liar who swings one way or the other at the drop of a hat, lose a sense of right and wrong and your decisions are of no merit, and without the perspective of a better world you become content with seeing unrealised potential present in the outworking of life. However, and this leads to point two, people do actually seem to see this lack of 'manliness' and get really riled. For something that is essentially just a game, this is remarkable. Whilst this is in no small part due to the overblown nature of football in the modern world, I think it's also due to the high value we intrinsically see in opposing injustice. Irrelevant of whether the Irish 'deserved' to win on the run of play, in that one decision an injustice that saw the most basic of football rules broken and not rectified left the watching public seething. Perhaps this suggests that all is not lost as far as society is concerned - if only we could harness that anger at injustice and direct it towards reducing poverty, climate change and the other more pressing matters of the day - think of the possibilities!

As an aside, someone on the BBC forum suggested this news should have alerted us sooner...!

(Some Biblical advice for Thierry Henry: Micah 6:8)

Friday 6 November 2009

Animals never fail to amuse...

Bit of an odd story, but those kind of stories are normally the most popular on the BBC website. Never mind the baldness, why are the bears wearing spectacles?

Also, does anyone remember the good old days of Sesame Street? Here are some interesting about them - lots of reminiscing! (here and here)

Tuesday 3 November 2009

When you get digging you sometimes hit a nerve

Someone recently told me about a group from the 1600s known as the Diggers/True Levellers. They were a group of Christians who sort to live out the principals of the early Church in Acts. At their heart they wanted small, agrarian communities, where humans and nature had an ecological interrelationship and, essentially, ownership and property was levelled out. They were seen as anarchistic, probably would still be seen that way today to some extent, and the establishment certainly weren't too happy. They made sure the Diggers were disrupted and squashed, and after around two years were disbanded.


The reaction doesn't really surprise me. I always have a little chuckle on the inside when people say we used to be a Christian country. My experience growing up at the tail end of Christendom, and confirmed in stories I hear such as these, is that when true Christianity is witness, when the Kingdom of God breaks through, the establishment (which by the definition of Christendom includes the Church) generally feels a bit threatened and gets pretty annoyed, lashing out.

Last night in my Transform teaching we talked about the Kingdom of God, and how it is inextricably linked to economy (look at Jesus' parables). When the Kingdom comes in, the poor are preached good news, and people are set free, and that needs to be witnessed in our economy too. As the financial crisis sees the old ways of doing things crumble, I feel we really need to ask ourselves whether the focus is on looking after people until the old model is patched up and ready to go again, or alternatively do we reimagine how things are done and start to bring about new ways of living (Jubilee anyone?). Ways that protect the poor, the widow and the orphan, rather than just are own self interest.


It may be hard for us to see how that can be done on a big scale, but then Jesus often did things more relationally and intimately, starting small and demonstrating the kingdom there, and then seeing it grow. Maybe we need to start small, helping transform our relationships and our communities, and demonstrating to people there is a better way, preaching the good news and announcing that a new king (instead of financial wealth and security) has arrived?

(Biblical 'true levellers': Acts 2:42-47)

Monday 2 November 2009

Is war a game?

I saw this just round the corner from my house and couldn't help but wonder what message people might take from it...

Saturday 31 October 2009

Stunning strike

This is pretty awesome. By the look of this video he wasn't a bad player in his day!

"Forgive me"

Been a while, will post some more stuff soonish - lots has been going on.

Read an interesting story about a man showing remorse for a rape he committed in his teenage years. Shocking to hear that 1 in 4 men in South Africa have admitted committing rape. Throws up many questions about forgiveness and justice - as can be seen from the comments from the public at the bottom of the article.


Reminds me of stuff I've been reading about the Forgiveness Project, in particular the story of Jo Berry and Pat Magee, a man who bombed the Conservative Conference in Brighton 25 years ago, killing Jo's father. Although he still feels violence can be justified and that the IRA were right for making a stand, he feels immense remorse that her father died, and the two have become friends as the explore what causes people to take such actions, but mainly what it means to forgive.

Jo has recently launched her own charity, Building Bridges for Peace, and she will, along with Pat, be leading a workshop at the Leeds Summat which takes place 21st-22nd November.

Tuesday 29 September 2009

Pioneers

[I wrote this about 2 or 3 weeks ago now - finally got round to posting it!]

Putting your music on shuffle always throws up a great variety of music, some you’d forgotten about, some you’re just embarrassed that you own (the music from Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth’s wedding just got an airing...??!?), and perhaps a buried classic off some such album, which you treasure and secretly hope that somehow no-one else has ever heard before. Well I’m not sure what category this fits in, but the song 'The Pioneers' from 'Silent Alarm' by Bloc Party just played out and it makes for interesting listening.


It speaks about people who are starting out something new, with ambitious goals for making a change, but knowing they are not the first to attempt such feats. "If it can be broke then it can be fixed. If it can be fused then it can be split. If it can be lost then it can be won. If it can be touched then it can be turned." Noble aims by the sound of it, and according to the singer, "it’s all under control"; "all we need is time". However, as the song continues, the realisation hits them of the challenges ahead of them. "We promised the world we’d tame it; what were we hoping for?" questions Kele, articulating the thoughts that 'pioneers' must often feel, overwhelmed by what they've taken on, and struggling to progress.

By the end of the song the band are now exclaiming that they "will not be the last", perhaps resigning themselves to the fact that whilst they thought they might be the ones to finally crack it, to change the world, they’re not going to do it. Wise to the draw that they first felt, they can see that others will attempt to take on this task in the future.


Moving to Leeds I guess there is a sense in my mind that I’m being a bit of a pioneer, and I guess I have mixed feelings about this. In one sense I’m not really doing anything new, of my own initiative. I’m helping with youth work that’s been going on for 6 years now, helping a decade-old ministry for addicts, and part of a young-but-established think-tank that is seeking to impact Leeds. But within these I have a chance to bring original ideas, fresh tweaks and potential new ways forward.

It seems to me that this pioneer lark is a mix of contrasts. You need to have the audacity to imagine big things, but know your limitations. You need to be aware of where people have gone wrong in the past, but believe you can get it 'right' this time round. You can’t be naive and think that you alone will change the world, but I believe that things I and others do can change the worlds of individuals. The lonely child coming to the club wanting some time feeling valued, the alcoholic wanting to find someone who will believe he can make it, the person walking down the street that just wants someone to smile at them once, wants someone to speak to.

I'm certainly not the first to dream about what can be achieved, nor will I be the last, and I know I can’t do it on my own, no matter how much time I have. No, it’s only by God’s grace and power that I can do anything, and so it’s to Him I look as this year commences. He’s the ultimate pioneer.

(God as pioneer: Genesis 1:1, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Revelation 21:1-5)

A new beginning

So...

I have no internet, my laptop is broken, and I'm just getting into the swing of living in Leeds, and all this has combined to mean I've not done any blog posts for over a month now...

Hopefully you'll have seen the big banner at the top of my blog with a link to a website about my gap year in Leeds, which has lots of info about what I'm doing and why. Hopefully as I get internet and a computer that works, I'll be able to keep people updated through this blog, as well as providing general thoughts, etc. that arise throughout the year. There's lots of challenging teaching I'll be picking up, plus in the everyday of doing this and that God is always speaking to me (and all of us), and new challenges are constantly arising, so I'm sure I'll have lots of things buzzing through my mind. I'll try to be selective with what I post!

Thursday 20 August 2009

They gave to anyone as he had need

I came across an interesting post about the giving attitude of the early Church, from a random(ish) blog I've found (I think via a blog application on Facebook - I guess more of these applications are useful than I first thought). I've always wondered why modern-day churches that pride themselves on their sound Bible teaching and indepth knowledge of the Bible don't look much like this... In contrast, it seems it was the early Christians' gut reaction in response to the gospel, once they had begun living as a part of the family of God. What a challenge to those of us that believe!

Going against the grain

It was interesting to read about Shane Supple, who has decided to quit professional football at the age of 22, by the sounds of it because he was bored of it. My initial reaction, and I'm sure everyone else's, is to think "What?!?". Being paid a ridiculous amount of money (as he probably was if he was in the first-team squad for a Championship side) to do what a lot of people do for fun, with many opportunities ahead of him, seems like a dream come true. And I guess that's what people think looking in from the outside. However, as Shane himself said, "As you grow up you realise there are other things in life and to be honest, the game is not what I thought it was."


It seems that maybe life isn't just about football, but there's more to it than that. Maybe we should take a leaf out of Shane's book and, rather than just carry on doing what's expected of us, get on with finding out what it's actually all about, whatever that may cost. "People probably think I'm crazy but I'm not going to stay in the game for anyone else, I'm making this decision for myself."

Tuesday 18 August 2009

What's your type?

There are some pretty useless Facebook applications out there ('which New Testament character are you?', 'send your friend a magic hug' and something about making a farm and taking pictures and that), but occasionally I've stumbled across some interesting and professionally-made apps that are enjoyable to explore. One such application is 'My Type Personality' (type that into the Facebook search box and you can find it), which I completed about a year ago.


It is based around the Myers-Briggs personality tests, which use a series of questions to determine what you are classed as in four different categories. Are you introverted or extroverted, intuitive or sensing, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving? Given the different combinations these create, there are 16 different personality types, and these come with a description of what the characteristics of such an individual would be. This application also provides comparisons with other personality types, to suggest what kind of relationships you will most likely have with those individuals. The descriptions are surprisingly accurate, and it is a lot of fun to see how it comes out, so I'd encourage you to take the test and see what it says.

To whet your appetite, here's what it said about me. I think it's quite accurate - what do you reckon?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Innovator

Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into one-up-manship. They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Typically good-natured, upbeat and laid-back, ENTPs can be delightful people to be around. They get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from interacting with others, and especially enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts which interest them. They may be prone to initiate arguments because they so enjoy the debate. They are generally fun-loving and gregarious, and can be quite charming. They have a problem with sometimes neglecting their close relationships when they become involved in the pursuit of a new idea or plan.



ENTP Strengths
● Enthusiastic, upbeat, and popular - Much more than I used to be.
● Can be very charming - I think I've spent too much time round older ladies at church...
● Excellent communication skills - I've been known to deliver a mean presentation when needed (as long as I don't mumble).
● Extremely interested in self-improvement and growth in their relationships - I am very self-aware and actively encourage people to give me constructive criticism.
● Laid-back and flexible, usually easy to get along with - I think I tend to try to see the best in others, particularly those I don't know too well.
● Big idea-people, always working on a grand scheme or idea - in the space of about three years I've gone from having no idea, to not being able to sleep without spending half an hour redesigning a building or town or inventing something-or-other.
● Usually good at making money, although not so good at managing it - Ha, not sure about making it, but I've still got bills I owe from 18 months ago, so pretty accurate.
● Take their commitments and relationships very seriously - I'd like to think so, although doesn't stop me being late - I never miss them at least (unless people get fed up of waiting)!
● Able to move on with their lives after leaving a relationship - way too easily (well, if we mean friendships).

ENTP Weaknesses
● Always excited by anything new, they may change partners frequently - this website is definitely tapping into the online dating market! I don't change partners frequently (I don't have one to change....). Definitely excited by new things though.
● Tendency to not follow through on their plans and ideas - Not enough time to...
● Their love of debate may cause them to provoke arguments - Ha, yeah, that might just about be me...
● Big risk-takers and big spenders, not usually good at managing money - See comment in strengths - on the plus side, when I eventually ask housemates for money it means they give me a lot...

Skating on thin ice

My friend Steve recently made a post about faith, and this reminded me of an illustration I heard a while ago.

Imagine two people, out in the middle of winter, who come to two different lakes, both of which have frozen over. One is apprehensive, and edges out, slowly, but surely, steadying themselves, and forever aware of the ice, ready to get off if it starts to crack. The other is care-free, sprinting out to the middle of the lake, jumping, rolling, and having a great time, with no thought for the potentially-fragile ice sheet below him. Unfortunately for the second guy, the ice is very thin, and begins to crack. Fearless, and trusting that the ice would hold his weight, he is now in extreme danger and the ice soon gives way, and the man is left stranded, without a hope. Meanwhile the other guy, after a while, becomes more confident. As he tests the ice out, he learns that it is solid, that it holds his weight, and knowing this, he trusts it will hold. He runs, he jumps, he skates and dances and does whatever comes to mind, trusting, with good reason, that the ice beneath his feet is solid and won't let him down.


Hopefully you see the parallel, but it's important to say that everyone has their faith in something, whether it be money, a house, a job, family, friends, whatever, and in many circumstances and to varying degrees, this is a good thing - we need to trust to live in community and to plan for the future. But they will all fail at some point, none of them are perfect. We can't even put complete faith in ourselves, as one day we will die and our bodies betray us. For the people whose faith is built on that and nothing less, they will be left exposed when all is said and done. But I believe that God is solid, will bear us up, and is worthy to be trusted.

But this is the other important point. The main thing isn't how strong your faith is. It can be really weak, you can be crawling, on your knees, but if you put your faith in the right thing, then that is what matters. As our faith grows and we learn to trust more, we can move with more freedom, enjoy it more, and learn, receive and give much more, living life to the full, as it was intended to be.

So first and foremost, it's far more important what your faith is in than how strong your faith is, but secondly, once we've found something we can trust in forevermore, we should seek to have a deeper faith, to grow, and to be safe in the knowledge of eternity assured, forever, in paradise.

Tuesday 4 August 2009

Goodbye...

I found this today when clearing out some old computer games. I think I printed it out when I found it on the net, at a guess around 2001/2? Anyway, just to confirm, I didn't write it, although at the time I remember thinking I felt the same, but wasn't strong enough to take the same bold step. We did eventually make the split, and it was definitely for the best - life has certainly changed for the better. There will, though, always be a special place in my heart for it.

As you read this I will have already gone. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think we can carry on the way we are. This may come as a surprise to you, as I know we’ve been getting on well, but we have to stop this. Now. You’ve been a big part of my life for a long time, and you have no idea how long I’ve thought about this. It’s been playing on my mind for months and months. It’s hard to explain exactly why I feel the way I do. All I know is that we have to move on.

Oh we’ve had good times. Plenty of them. That time we won the Champions League with Gillingham, the 67th minute winner from Robbie Keane, I remember it vividly. Moore shoots! Frey parries it! It falls to Keane! Goal for Gillingham!!! Ah, the memories.. . but I mustn’t reminisce, they are only memories. Oh, but when I beat my mate Tom 2-0 in the FA Cup final. The look on his face! And when I spent a whole day with you, and we managed to complete the whole season (resulting in winning the domestic treble) in one day. And when you told me that the fans chanted my name after winning the UEFA Cup. And that magic comeback in the Second Division play-off final. And... and.. .oh I love you CM. Some of the most rewarding times of my life have been spent with you. I’m not denying that. It’s these good times that make it so hard for me to write what I’m going to. But it has to be done. It has to.

I mustn’t get caught up in the nostalgia. We’ve had some great times, sure. But we’ve had some bad times too. How about when we managed to get relegated from Division 1? How about when I was sacked after the first three games of the season, even though I had taken Gillingham from the Second Division to the Premiership? And how can we forget the crash of ‘98. I know you remember it too. Yes, corrupted save game file on the eve of the Champions League final. Leicester v. Lazio. We had just clinched the Premiership title, and had a full-strength side for the clash with the Italian giants. But it wasn’t to be. I didn’t see you for months after that! But eventually, as always, I came back. That’s another thing, why do you have to be so addictive? When we were seeing each other frequently, I almost entirely lost contact with my other friends. I’m sorry to bring them up, I know how you hate ‘others’, and that dreaded phrase: ‘social life’. Once upon a time, you had power over me; you began to persuade me to think like you do. I started to truly believe that going out was evil. Staying in with you was good. Looking back, maybe the crash of ‘98 was a good thing. If we hadn’t had that falling out, then who knows where I’d be? I could have no friends, no prospects, no life. You have to understand, you are not the only thing in life. I have other needs that you can’t fulfill. I need to eat, sleep, get exercise. Only now I realize that you used your charms to deprive me of my needs. You were bad for me, Champy, bad.

But why say this now? We’ve been together for over 5 years, why choose to bring all this up? Well, I’ll be brutally honest, I’m afraid that you just don’t satisfy me any more. Oh, it’s not your fault. But up to now I’ve been able to tolerate your flaws. Your possessiveness, your addictiveness, it’s been balanced out by the joy that we used to experience. But now it’s different. When I load you up I don’t feel the same sense of anticipation. When I score I don’t thrust my fist into the air. When I lose I don’t bury my head in my hands. I fear that we’ve been together for too long, and I’m getting, for want of a better word, bored. You’ve been the same for too long, and I need something new. I know how hard this must be for you. I know how hard you’ve tried to improve yourself. The player comparison, the attribute masking. You even went and got yourself a fancy DVD case. These revived us for a short time, but we both knew it was the same old you underneath. Everything around us was changing so rapidly. Ever heard of 3D graphics? Other games went and made themselves compatible with hardware. They took the leap into the unknown. You didn’t. You couldn’t. I can’t really complain, we used to be so happy. I asked myself, why fix something that wasn’t broke? Your inner beauty shone through the rough exterior, it blinded me. All I’m saying is that you were perfect at the time. 3D wouldn’t have suited you anyway. Text has always been your best format. And don’t say that you’ll change, you can’t. It pains me to say this, but you’ve been left behind, Champ. Surely you realize that we were only delaying the inevitable. The more time we spend together, the less excited I get. Everything is the same. Same interface, same engine, same system.

It’s not just this. The little things are starting to niggle at me now: the super-goalies, the last-minute goals, the absence of a decent manual, the lack of interaction. Before, I could tolerate it. I believed your excuses, “They don’t exist”, “They happen to Al managers as well”, “It isn’t needed”, “I’m not capable of doing that”. I just accepted them and played on, little did I know that you were fobbing me off every time. These little details just serve as a reminder to me that you’re just a game, and a flawed one at that. When you came into my life you blew me away. It was 1998, I was young. Your detail, your realism, your entertainment. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. It put my previous love, CM2, to shame. But as the years have gone by I’ve moved on and so has technology. However you’ve remained the same old Champ. You’ve tried to keep up, but you can’t. I need more. I need to be able to really interact with my players, staff, and the media. I need to be able to see a visual representation of what my players are doing out there on the pitch. I need to be able to play with other people, on the Internet. Yes. People. Internet. Two words you hardly know the meaning of. You have to understand, this is what I need, and we both know that you can’t provide it any more. I need excitement. I need unpredictability.

Is there another game? No, of course not. You’ve always been the one for me, Champy. I’m not going to go off with the first game that flashes me a nice set of bump-mapped polygons. It’s what’s inside that counts. Up to now, you’ve proved this point. You’re so complex, so difficult to work out, and you’re the best there is. There is nothing out there that even gets near to you. You know this, I know this. After all these years, you are still the best, don’t ever forget that. I just need something new. There’s nothing around that can provide that at the moment, but I just have a feeling in my gut that there’s something around the corner. Something that can provide me with what I need. Something that can give me a brand new experience, something that can excite me the way you used back in the olden days. This game isn’t here yet, I don’t know when it will appear, but I know that at some point it will. And I know that it will satisfy me. I simply see no need in staying in relationship that has grown stale. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but we’ve been slowly growing further apart over the course of the last few years. I think it’s best if we can just cut our losses and move on.

I’ve been in limbo for a long time about this. You still provide the most enriching game experience in the world, and I love spending time with you. It’s just that this has been playing on my mind for so long. Having finally put it all down into words I feel almost cleansed. It’s as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel free. I’m so, so sorry to have to do this. But I feel that it’s the best for both of us. I’m hurting inside, and I’m sure you are too. However deep down, I know that you know I’m right. It’s just been the same old thing for much too long. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to cope without you. I’m hoping for a clean break, but it’s never that simple, is it? I’ve met your family and get on with them well. Your Mum, SI. Your Dad, Eidos. We’re close, it’s going to be hard to cut them out from my life. I know I never really got on well with your little sister, CM Quiz, but she was special in her own little way. Such a simple child, yet still holds the trademark CM addictiveness. I’m sorry Champ, I feel so guilty. But it has to be a fresh start. A new era.

I hope with all my heart that we can remain friends. I’m sure that we’ll meet again in the future.

Stay strong,
Chris
xxx

I'd be intrigued as to whether 'Chris' returned to Champ once it got a 2D, and now 3D, engine, and also got hooked up with the internet. I guess we'll never know.

Wednesday 29 July 2009

I'm so happy that he didn't sneeze


What's the most famous speech in the world? I'm sure for a lot of people the answer comes back "I have a dream", or "Martin Luther King". And so when I saw that my Dad had been given the book 'Speeches that changed the world' as a present, it was to the speech of said title that I headed straight to. Reading it through it's very powerful, very encouraging, but having had it on my wall for the last three years at uni I know it fairly well now. But what I wasn't aware of was the speech he gave four and a half years later, in Memphis, Tennesee.

He starts with a story of how he was stabbed by "a demented black woman" whist autographing books, and relays how the knife was so close to his aorta that the New York Times, on reporting the incident, said that if he had sneezed he would have died. A few days later, able to read through some of the post he had received, one letter strikes him, one he'll never forget. It's a short, straightforward letter, but it is from a young white girl, ninth grade (age 14-15), who has heard of his misfortune, and she says she is "simply writing to say that I'm so happy you didn't sneeze". He goes on to say that he too is happy he didn't sneeze, listing all the things that have happened, all that he would have missed, and that might never have happened had he died.

And it's at this point he conveys how his life has been threatened many times, how even that morning as he flew, the plane was guarded all night beforehand and comprehensively searched and checked, how more threats have been made and questions raised about what people might try to do to him in the coming days and months. And his final paragraph is stunning, absolutely stunning, and had me in tears:

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

The following day, 4 April 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed by a sniper's bullet whilst standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennesee.

What a faith, what an example, what a challenge. Is this what it means to be a Christian dying to oneself and living for Christ?

And how gracious a God, to keep him from death until he was ready, to remove that fear and to replace it with that contentment, with that joy. And I know one day I'll be at the Promised Land with him, and see the glory of the Lord forever.


Above is a video of the final paragraph, and there is also a FULL transcript - see the last seven paragraphs for what I read in the book.

Saturday 25 July 2009

Community spirit

Looking at one of the free papers lying around the house, the front of the Sentinel caught my eye. A nice friendly picture of lots of people outside a few houses with the caption 'Good neighbours'. A close in Worthing where people had got together, closed the road and staged a street party to 'celebrate the area's community spirit'.

Turning to the story on the inside, it was good to read about 'Big Lunch', a nationwide project to get neighbours across the country sitting down together. The pictures are great and demonstrate something that I think deep down a lot of people long for. It just so often seems so hard to get to! Something that looks so hard for us to achieve that it seems the effort isn't worth it. But from the smiles on the people's faces (well, except for the older guy at the front of the photo below!) it looks as though it is worth it.

It also reminded me of conversations I've had with my elderly next door neighbour. Being an atheist, he attached more significance to the solstices than to Christmas and Easter, and I remember that he said he'd like to see people walking through the streets on winter solstice together, and also wanted to see more street parties and people being community together. He went into hospital a few weeks ago, and at that time I was reminded of this desire he had expressed. I wondered whether, if he got better, as a few of us neighbours had been going to see him for a while before he even entered hospital, it might be good to have a BBQ or picnic, just to for him to experience what he longed for. Alas, last week he moved to St. Barnabas House, a hospice in Worthing, told he's not going to walk again. Seeing him tonight, unfortunately it seems he probably doesn't have long left at all. Having got to know him this last 18 months, it's reemphasised in my mind, that there are people nearby who are lonely, as he has been since his best friend, who he cared for at home for about a decade, died about two years ago. We don't know how long people will be around, and with him there was a sense that I got too know him too late to really make that strong a friendship.

As I said, he is an atheist, which means something at my very core is starkly different from how it is with him. And yet we seem to have such similar desires in many respects. I really want to explore what community is, to see neighbourhoods transformed and for people to grow together and to discover more of how life is supposed to be. I don't think this is just some massive coincidence, I believe it's because deep down we have an inbuilt desire to live in community, to have relationship. Whilst there is a part of us that is selfish and greedy, at our core we long to be relational. I believe that is because we are made in the likeness of God. God, although one, has been in community since before time began. The father, the son, the spirit, entwined in relationship, in a communion with each another. And so, for mankind, formed by Him in His image, that longing is there, waiting to be fulfilled. I want to experience it, to be a part of it, and I hope that I will continue to find it, in whatever shape and size, throughout this lifetime and into the next!

Saturday 18 July 2009

Who is generous?

I was looking on Google for information about the world's most generous philanthropists and came across an interesting blog article.


It throws up some questions I've thought about and wrestled with about pure generosity (for generosity's sake) versus doing it to look good in front of others, and also about how the small giving of some is much more generous than the large amounts from others.

Newquay

As I mentioned, I got back from Newquay on Thursday night. Was a really enjoyable time. Relaxing, away from it all, and spending time with friends. Lots of beautiful views, we generally had great weather (or at least relative to the forecasts), except when putting up and taking down the tents! Here is a picture I took whilst on the beach at 'Lusty Glaze'...

I've already done a couple of posts (much more regular than in recent months), and will look to keep posting things and to get back into blogging.

Friday 17 July 2009

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I've been on holiday in Newquay this week, and whilst we were there my friend Vicky played a piece of music that was as challenging as it was catchy, and the voice delivering it was instantly recognisable. Unaware of 'Man in the Mirror', it was great to hear it for the first time:


The (condensed) lyrics are:

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right.

As I Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind,
Pretending Not To See Their Needs?
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go.
That's Why I Want You To Know:

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror.
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways.
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer.
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place,
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change.

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love,
It's Time That I Realize,
That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan.
Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream.
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See.
Cause They Got No Place To Be,
That's Why I'm Starting With Me.

I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
Just Lift Yourself You Know You've Got To Stop It Yourself!
I've Got To Make That Change, Today!
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
You Know-I've Got To Get That Man, That Man . . .
You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
Stand Up And Lift Yourself, Now!
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
You Know It!
Make That Change.

I don't know what Michael Jackson did during his life, but my sneaking suspicion is that a man who was abused by his father, thrust into the limelight at the age of six, under constant pressure to do better, to be who his family, producers, fans, and whoever else wanted him to be, is not going to live a happy and contented life. This man did not have a childhood. I doubt whether he ever felt truly loved. This song captures his simplistic, childlike ideals of wanting to make a change, wanting to see a better world; something crushed out of most people by the time they reach their 20s.

He named his house Neverland. He had a train, which he named after his mother. He had sleepovers with kids. He enjoyed going to the zoo and made friends with the animals. He made mistakes, often unaware of the dangers in life. He loved to sing and to make people happy. In other words, he was a 10-year old. I don't think (and whilst I've not got any real knowledge, it seems pretty obvious to me) there's anything more sinister to it than that (and apparently a mental health professional thought so too). Whilst I'm sure he was mainly trying to be nice, I believe that Reverend Al Sharpton was right when he said "There wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. What was strange was what your daddy had to deal with.".

And so, returning to the song - I want to see change. I want to see childlike dreams and ambitions realised, to see people imagining what the world could be like, not seeing the current limitations, and to just get on with it. And so for that to happen it's got to start somewhere, and it's gonna start with 'the man in the mirror'.

Salvation is Free

I searched for Salvation in YouTube (as you do when you're bored and looking for videos to do with the Salvation Army), and came across this song with fascinating lyrics...


These are the lyrics:

To all those people doing lines:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Inject your soul with liberty;
It's free, it's free.

To all the kids with heroin eyes:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Cos it's not, not what it seems,
No it's not, not what it seems.

Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.
Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.

To all the parents with sleepless nights:
Tie your kids on to their beds,
Clean their heads.

To all the kids with heroin eyes:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Cos it's not, not what it seems,
No it's not, not what it seems.

Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.
Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.

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As The Salvation Army (and as Christians in general), we need to get a message out, and whilst hopefully we're not saying "don't do this, don't do that" to everyone, it's really important that we point out that the thing people are looking for is out there if you look in the right place, and is so much more fulfilling and satisfying than anyone could imagine, much much better than any drug.

And best of all, it's free!

Wednesday 10 June 2009

What makes a Christian weak or strong?

My friend Steve has posted something interesting about the Sabbath and how we observe it, and I had a chat with him the other week about it too. It has baffled me for a while as to why people seem to forget that commandment, but at the same time it's odd that whilst the Sabbath is the Saturday, we see it as Sunday - so can we see it as the same thing, or perhaps we should hold both of them?

This is an extended reply to his post, so have a look at his post first to see what he has written and the background to what was said at the Christian Union meeting to spark this.

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It's an interesting and important issue, but I think the main thing is that people give it due consideration, prayer and study of the Bible and choose something that is right in their conscience after this. I don't know what I feel entirely, given that I grew up with the same opinions, forced on me to some extent but also felt by me, and I still held these until probably 18 months ago and do to some degree now.

I think it is important to dedicate a day to God and to rest and to help others to rest too. I know it's not particularly British to help others and that we should all live as individuals and get on with our own lives, but I do feel a responsibility to help others lead a good life, and I believe others need rest too. Not many really want to work on a Sunday so is me going shopping really helping them if it increases demand and thus pressure from their employers to work? I had to work Sundays for a while when I really didn't want to, even though I got extra pay, but felt I had to in case I didn't look committed.

On the other hand I've had people come to Church who it would be great to have a chat with afterwards and make them feel welcome, and it may not be suitable or easy to invite them home, so as Wetherspoons is round the corner I can go there with them and buy them a drink or meal. This is vastly different to being so lazy and absent minded as to not buy food the previous day and prepare food then (although admitadely on said Sunday I was also in Sainsburys - my defence was the Summer Ball although it's not a great excuse!).


So I think the key things are these:

1) As it implies in Mark 2:23-27, I think you have to be pragmatic and do whatever you feels brings glory to God and is beneficial to those in need, without using it as an excuse.
2) Being weak and being strong is, I feel, about how you come to your decision rather than the decision itself.
I think legalism implies that you hold to your views because it's what your tradition is, perhaps passed down by your parents, or your Church, or assumed through a vary narrow and shallow reading of scripture. I think the contrasting view is not liberalism, but more to do with people who have studied scripture, gone deeper, and seen what is at the heart of the matter and made their decision based on this. Perhaps Paul has deemed that anyone who deeply studied the scriptures and who understood the gospel would come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter whether you eat meat, which I would say is accurate according to the Bible.

I think for John Risbridger to bring the Sunday thing in without a bit of explanation is a bit misleading, as it's by no means clear cut, in fact flicking through Romans, 14:5-6 seems to address this exact thing, and from my reading there isn't as clear a divide in Paul's mind with regards to this this issue as for vegetarianism. He seems to see the key part as each individual being "fully convinced in his own mind". It may even be that in different circumstances on different occasions that a different conclusion is reached on whether to buy, work, play, etc., as long as that decision is honourable and pleasing to God.

So I guess if you don't do things on Sundays because it's what you've been told to do I would see you as weak. However if you start buying things on Sunday (or more specifically if you refrain from having a separate day of rest for you and others) just because you find it easier not to, then you are just as weak, if not more so.

However, a 'strong' individual will study and pray and seek an answer which he can make with a clear conscience and about which he would be able to stand before God and not feel ashamed. Lets face it, there will probably be a lot of Sundays/Saturdays/Sabbaths before we die, God willing, so I think it is worth giving this a lot of thought and seeking God's will, and then putting that into action in how we live.

Saturday 6 June 2009

Why get baptised?

I'm getting baptised tomorrow and whilst it will be a great occasion, it's not something to be taken lightly. Through baptism I'm signalling that I have died to my old 'self' (a concept that was central to why I started this blog) and been reborn through the power of God to follow Christ and live my life as he would have me. I'll write in the next few days of my personal reasons for baptism, but this post, if a little long (it's worth it I promise...), should give some food for thought about the general role of baptism. I want it to be clear that I'm not doing this to be controversial in the Salvation Army (SA) (and indeed I believe a fair few people in the SA have been baptised), it is something I really feel I should do and want to do, but I do believe it raises important questions for the SA.

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The topic of baptism seems to raise so many dilemmas for different people and has caused a lot of division. In general, the Catholic and Anglican Churches seem to go for infant baptism (or Christening), whilst Baptists, Reformed and 'Free' Churches tend to go for adult ones. The logic for child baptism would seem to be that you wish to dedicate your child to God when they are young, and there could be arguably some backing for this in the Bible. Adult baptism seems more consistent and repeatedly implied throughout the New Testament (or more specifically those that are of an age to make their own conscious decision). The former also seem to go for drawing a cross on the forehead whilst the latter for full immersion (plunging the whole body into water).

The SA on the other hand don't do it at all (although are not, officially, against it). From what I have gleaned, the main reason for this seems to be that when the SA started (1865 in it's original form), it's membership drew from a variety of denominations, full of people who wanted to take the good news of Christ Jesus to those on the margins of society that had been forgotten by the wider Church. As there would have been disagreements amongst the members how baptism should be performed, this may have led to some friction, and so in 1883 William Booth wrote, suggesting: "is it not wise for us to postpone any settlement of the question, to leave it over to some future day, when we shall have more light, and see more clearly our way before us?" (see article mentioned in final paragraph). However, that day seems not to have arrived, or at least there seems to have been no point at which a serious, open discussion has occurred that has focused on Christ and put aside tradition and considered what is the best thing we can do as a movement, forgetting our pride and asking what is God's desire.

As you may well tell from how I write, and also given that I have made this decision, I feel baptism is right and is important. I feel glad to make this decision, and the fact I have come from this background has actually been extremely beneficial as I have been able to consider the special significance of baptism, rather than just seeing it as the natural 'next step'. I started seriously considering it maybe 18 months/2 years ago, challenged by how uni friends took it for granted and how I could really give no reason why I didn't, other than that it wasn't really the Salvation Army's thing. I couldn't really say the SA don't do symbolism, as they wear uniforms. Saying that we have 'Soldiership' which is equivalent almost seemed like I'd be saying "yeah I know Jesus made this suggestion but we've had a think and decided that William Booth's idea about the whole soldier thing just sounds a lot better". Again, it just seems like tradition getting in the way of the commands of God.

At the time of thinking this I was increasingly aware of the concept of Gnosticism which had invaded some parts of the early Church, where people thought the body was bad and the spirit good. This was rebuffed by early Christians who said that God made the whole human being good; spirit, soul AND body. I therefore figured that if God made us both spiritual and physical beings, then the things we relate with we look at in both a spiritual and physical context and meaning. Therefore it makes sense that we associate with some physical things in a spiritual way, sometimes in a bad way (idol worship, obsession around cars, money, etc.) but often in a good way (such as emotions experienced through photographs of people and places, or, for Christians, using the picture of the cross to help contemplate Christ). As God created us surely he knows we have these tendencies, and in fact wanted us to be like this, and so it seems logical that he would give us physical things to help us spiritually. He used the rainbow as a symbol of a promise, gave the Israelites the temple to symbolise the importance of God, and time and time again promise a sign to signify and confirm something spiritual. So it makes sense that when Christ wanted his followers to remember why he was to die he gave them the reminder of bread and wine, which was shown to be powerful in opening the followers eyes when they forgot that his death was planned. He also knew that people may judge Christians on their own works rather than what Christ has done, so by giving the sign of baptism they had something that was rooted in the death of Christ, rather than anything to do with human effort. Perhaps he knew that the SA would make uniforms for themselves and become soldiers, something that whilst obviously rooted in a decision to follow Christ, has so much more added to it and significance that is often more to do with the individual's actions than the work of God.

It was both a relief  (as it showed I wasn't crazy) but also a slight annoyance (that someone else had written something that I thought I was the first to think of) to read an article by Chick Yuill about this very topic and with similar explanation. A controversial figure in the SA, but someone who not only seems to have a solid grounding in the Bible but is also a very good speaker, Chick writes engagingly, and I encourage 'Salvationists' to read it through and seriously consider it (and have a look through the Rubicon website more generally), but others too should give it a read and maybe help them think afresh why it is that baptism is, and should be, held so dear.

Sunday 17 May 2009

If being a Christian was like taking a degree, how would we be assessed?

Sitting in the sermon today, and with exams at the back of my mind, the word knowledge came up, about how knowledge isn't everything, and it got me thinking about how we often consider knowledge to be the be all and end all. In our exams we look to get by by reproducing what we know in the hope that it will impress the marker. But how are we assessed as Christians? I guess this is a bit abstract and possibly a bit daft, but it did get me thinking.

Is it like an exam? Well, God isn't going to test us on how many things we know when we get to judgement day, wanting a list of all the books in the Bible, of all the laws in Leviticus or how many 'his love endures forever's there are in Psalm 136. However, we know that life is a test that presents trials. James 1:12 tells us that those that are tested and persevere will receive the crown of life.

Do we have coursework that we are assessed on? People often have this mental picture of St. Peter standing at the pearly gates weighing up the good and bad things we've done in our life and deciding who goes in. From speaking to Muslims this appears to be an Islamic belief, plus unfortunately I'm sure there are many people that profess to be Christians that hold this view too. This implies that we have some coursework of being good and sticking to the rules and we are assessed on that at the end of our life. However, Romans 11:5-6 says that we are not saved by works but by the grace of God, whilst Galatians 3:10-14 makes it clear that we cannot by saved by keeping the law, simply because no one is able to(!), and instead it is through what Christ has done. However, we do have 'coursework', in the sense that we will be assessed on how we respond to those in need.

Presentation some times creeps into our assessments, and Paul says, in an illustration about husbands and wives, that Christ presents the Church (i.e. Christians) as holy and blameless. Oral exams are in there too, and we are told that if we confess with our mouth that "Jesus is Lord" we shall be saved.

This has probably created more confusion than made things simpler, but at the end of the day, I think John 3:16-18 says it well - that we all deserve to be condemned to a 'fail' grade, but through putting our faith in Christ, who was offered as a substitute in our place, we are saved and pass wth first class honours!

Tuesday 12 May 2009

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst."

Not enough time to write a decent blog, exams are hectic. Only two more to go and then uni is over.

Saw this on the BBC Sport website (I know I shouldn't be on here but I had an exam yesterday so I'm having an hour off this morning...); Harry Redknapp with some insightfulness. Having been at university for four years and, well, generally living and seeing people, I can testify to the concluding statement.

When will people realise they don't need alcohol? They need something that will make them never thirst again!

Sunday 12 April 2009

Bradford and Leeds week - the East End Park community

After Saturday off it came to my final day in Yorkshire, and it was great to be able to meet up with Andrew Grinnell. It was through a lot of what he said at Roots last year that my thoughts came together about this, well, desire to serve the poor I guess. His Forgotten 5% presentations about the work of NEO Salvation Army centres in particular (an area of ministry for which he has overall control), demonstrated the stark need of many areas and pulled at my desires and many of the things I had been thinking about during my time in south London.

We met for a chat and a coffee and then headed back to his local area, East End Park, which apparently is in the bottom 7% of areas in the UK as measured by the Indices of Multiple Depravation. If it's that high I wouldn’t like to see those places below it. Row after row of back-to-back housing, which, to give a picture, unless you're at the end of the terrace then you're surrounded by three houses. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure you could fit about least three of these houses in my back garden. Windows boarded up, metal grids on most windows and doors, unswept streets and nowhere for anyone to play except for where a few houses had been knocked down.

One girl we passed was a friend of Andrew’s daughter and was sitting outside playing with a few friends. He told me how his daughter was shocked going round her house and discovering she had no toys, and set about trying to get her some. The starkest thing for me was seeing one boy walking through a field on his own, wearing, on Easter Sunday, his school uniform. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but if someone has to wear their school uniform in the middle of the holidays then just how little must that family have?

We spoke about the possibility of me going there myself next year, and it seemed like it wasn’t necessarily the best option, but still a possibility. If nothing else it was good to have an idea of just how stark poverty can be in the UK. As Andrew said to me it’s nothing when compared to Africa, but when you see the relative luxury we have in many parts of the UK, it really does beggar belief how places like this can exist. I really pray that Andrew and the other Christians living in the community can bring the light of God into such a dark place and that He will be glorified on that estate.

Bradford and Leeds week - Holme Christian Community (Good Friday)

Good Friday night quite a few people from the surrounding area crowded into HCC for worship and to be reminded of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Worship was slightly strange as although there were two singers and a flautist, we all sang along to a worship music CD. This was all fine, but was particularly interesting when we got to the instrumentals...

At one point the pastor produced a wooden cross and some broken pieces of porcelain and the members of the congregation were asked to each stick a piece on (it was covered in grouting in case you’re wondering), symbolising our brokenness being paid for on the cross. He tried to bribe us into going to the Easter Sunday 6AM service by saying we could see what it turned into – I wasn’t able to go but Caroline did and said he didn’t bring it! Hopefully he took it to the breakfast! Either way, the idea was to spray it gold, presumably to demonstrate how God takes our brokenness on the cross, and through that sacrifice God is glorified and we are made beautiful in His eyes. Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Caroline gave the sermon, which had two main points. The first was that we all share the one Christ, we all serve him, he died for all of us who believe. As the curtain was torn in two when Christ died, this symbolised us having access to God, something previously reserved for the holiest of Priests. Secondly, it illustrated the upside-down kingdom, where the first is last and the last is first. Christ came to serve and not to be served. He turned the ideas of the world on it’s head. I guess this is what is meant by the fact the cross is foolishness to many. The cross, therefore, turns darkness to light, death to life and punishment to freedom. And we are offered that, such light, such life, such freedom.

Bradford and Leeds week - Caleb

Good Friday’s outing was to a cafe which runs every Friday and is for people at various stages of giving up drink and/or drugs. Throughout the week Caleb offers community rehabilitation to a group of people that are signed up, helping them through the trials they come across. Using the 12.5 steps project (like the 12 steps process used by AA but with a forgiving others section in it), they take step after step towards being free from addiction. Chatting to the guys there, it was refreshing to see just how normal so many of them are, how they were easy to chat to, friendly and not in my mind any kind of second class citizen. Quite a few of the volunteers there had been through the system themselves and were now wanting to give something back. The woman who showed me round said she’d been free of heroin and alcohol for quite a while now, but that coming along still and volunteering were really important as it is often the boredom and lack of anything to replace the previous routine that leads to lapses. It was just so good to see how many people really enjoyed coming along, and how many people want to help out those who’d been through the same as they had.

It was made even better by the fact I won a game of dominoes, plus a bit of Easter card making was great for me to give something to Caroline and Craig as part of a thank you for having me. It was also great to see guys who might often feel they don’t have much to give their kids and relatives something, being able to create something of their own in the hope of showing a bit of love to their dearest. Have a read through some of the testimonies - it'll make you day.

Bradford and Leeds week - St. Christopher's (Maundy Thursday)

Maundy Thursday evening there was a service at one of the churches on the estate, the Anglican church St Christopher’s. We started off with a meal, lamb stew (we were thinking about Passover so it was the obvious choice...), which allowed me to meet some of the locals, and a very pleasant bunch too. We heard a few Bible readings amongst this, and then were invited to take a piece of paper and write down a list of things we wanted to get rid of in our life. Going outside, we got into groups and constructed a cross out of two sticks and some nails, nailed our lists to the cross and put them on a bonfire in the Church garden. Moving inside we had a time of worship (which included half way through a song the room being filled with a piercingly high and loud noise, followed by the whole room in silence staring at the girl sitting near the sound desk and one woman just saying “which one did you press, which one?”).

This was a really great time just to sit and reflect on the things I want to get rid of in my life. However my list always seems to be the same, full of things I say I want to get rid of but clearly never really try. I say I want to be punctual, decisive, spending more time with God praying and studying the Bible, but I don’t actually do it. If I want to be a dying Christian and take up my cross, I’ve just got to get on with it. If I hold on to these things then Christ won’t take them away. I need to cling to Christ and the cross, not to my past.

Bradford and Leeds week - RETAS

My second journey after the interview was to RETAS (Refugee Education Training Advisory Service), based in the Harehills area of Leeds. RETAS work with asylum seekers and refugees, and in the short time I was there I certainly felt as though I learnt a lot. 'Asylum seeker' is a term given to someone who comes to the UK because they are wanting to stay here to escape something back home. They are given a certain amount of time in which to prove their case and justify why they should stay and thus become a kind of quasi-citizen in the form of a refugee. Refugees are given the legal status of a citizen when they are allowed to stay on the basis that if they returned home they would be persecuted in some form – i.e. they are seeking refuge from harm. However, in the meantime asylum seekers have fewer rights and find it hard to get by, not matter how hard they try and how willing they are. Even for refugees this can be hard and in part is due to myths and negative persceptions held by potential employers.

Some of the volunteers from the centre

I was shown round by and chatted with Duncan, who was one of the original Transformers (i.e. on the inaugural Transform year – he can’t turn into a car or plane or anything like that). It was great to see the passion he had and hear about how lives had been changed through their work. Whilst they’re not explicit about their faith, the majority of workers are Christians and they offer to pray when appropriate, and so their Christian ethos really shines through and makes a difference. They offer computer training, language classes, and training in other areas that are of help, as well as helping clients to find jobs. I’m sure it’s something that, even if I don't do it for a placement, I would want to keep in touch with and recommend to others, to see some of the most vulnerable people in the UK have their lives changed.

Bradford and Leeds week - West Yorkshire Community Chaplaincy Project

After my interview on Thursday I was taken around Leeds to see a few possible placements. The West Yorkshire Community Chaplaincy Project (WYCCP) is a multi-faith charity that works with individuals leaving HMP Leeds (which accepts all adult male prisoners from West Yorkshire) in Armley, with the aim of reducing re-offending rates, and was our first port of call. They provide prison leavers with support and advice, for example with debt and finance (many leave with nothing), and are general helped to integrate back into society.


If you think about it, there are some guys that may have been in prison for years and years, and even those who’ve been in a couple of years may feel very out of touch and as though they’ve lost a lot of time. Helping them to fit back into society, encouraging them and enabling them to feel more confident about their prospects are all important things and so it was great to hear about this ministry and all it does.

Bradford and Leeds week - Transform (the interview)

Arriving at Leeds station Thursday lunchtime I was picked up and taken to Fred Shed, where a variety of Christian organisations are based. After a little wait I had my interview for the Transform programme. The programme consists of training on Monday (including theology, team time and practical training too), a 15-hour placement, a 5-hour place, a part-time job and a mentor.

It’s been quite a while since I had an interview, in fact I’ve only had four in my life. My first was a Marks and Spencer telephone interview, which I failed (how am I supposed to know what you do if someone comes in with a faulty item and has no receipt – surely that’s what training is for?!?). Then there was my Wilkinson interview which basically consisted of “do you want the job?” and checking I didn’t have a criminal record. So the only two proper interviews I’ve had were for Bank of England and HM Treasury, which both went well, but I was still a bit apprehensive as it’d been a while, but figured I’d just be honest and hope I didn’t put my foot in it. The first question was something along the lines of “how do you feel you have developed over last year”, and after about 5 minutes (at least) of chatting I decided I’d better stop...



The whole interview was generally pretty relaxed, as they’re ‘on your side’ as it were. Their aim is to assess whether it is the right thing for you, and if that’s the case then it’s probably the right thing for them, as it means you’ll make the best use of their funding. This made it fairly easy just to be open and honest and it was really encouraging just to chat through ideas and expectations, and to be able to ask them a few questions too.

One question that was very thought-provoking was when I was asked whether I found it easier to relate to people on the margins than the middle classes. Thinking about it I guess I do. I suppose I find a lot of people, including Christians, are very closed and ask very questions about the things around them, let alone of themselves and what they believe. People you might describe as 'marginalised' seem altogether more raw, open, honest, and have a vulnerability about them once you get to know them beyond their sometimes strong front. There is a depth, a story, which I think I can appreciate more, a sense in which I can see a way out for this person, that even if they don't know exactly what they're doing wrong, they know something needs to change. Contrast this with the middle-class independence and individualism which always says "I am right", "there's nothing wrong with me", "as long as I keep myself to myself that's all that matters", an attitude that really just wants me to bang my head against the wall. I think that's a question that I'm going to keep exploring for some time yet.

On Friday night I got an answer phone message to say that I’d been accepted, so it’s now just up for me to decide for certain whether to do it, which looks likely, and then to sort out the location and placements. It's all looking pretty exciting.