Sowing the seeds of love, or of exclusion?

On Friday night a friend and I were outside our church, waiting to see if any of the guys from youth club would turn up, as it was closed this week. Having gone to see some of the guys I was walking back when I saw a woman, can in hand, pulling (presumably) her child, about 7/8, up by the hair. As the child swung for the mother, the mother retaliated by smacking her child on the face. This carried on a few times. The father, also can in hand, seemed to having nothing to say about this. With it being in the middle of the park, I was a bit taken aback, and I just stared at her for a while.

As she continued, I felt I had to at least say something. I walked over to them and, inquisitive and perhaps even smiling, she looked at me. All I said was something like "I'm sorry but..." and she told me to butt out, whilst the guy probably threatened me too. Of course it was what I expected. What amazed me though was how until I said those words she genuinely seemed to think that I could just as easily have been about to say "Alright?" or "Nice day...", as though what she'd just done in full view was perfectly normal.

The child later ran off, and then after the father followed her he came back and the rest of the family went home. I don't know where she was. I don't know if she got home. I don't know whether she wanted to go home. I don't know whether worse happens there. But I won't be surprised if, if it continues, one day she runs off and never comes back.


The Salvation Army recently released a report, 'The Seeds of Exclusion', for which interviews were conducted with many homeless people. It was found "that poor relationships with mothers often lead to antisocial behaviour throughout life". In addition, "[m]any of those affected are now themselves parents alienated from their own children". I couldn't help but wonder whether I was watching one of those seeds being sown. Perhaps the mother herself had experienced similar.


On returning home I had an interesting conversation with my housemate and his girlfriend about what I'd seen and about social ills in general. My housemate was keen to draw the line between poverty in the UK and in developing countries. He suggests that there are so many opportunities here that people are able to get out of it themselves, something those that are the poorest of the poor, living in third-world countries, simply don't have. I've often thought myself that poverty in the UK is practically optional. But what I've learnt over the last year is that the cause of poverty and other social ills in the UK is dramatically different to in the developing world. As the SA report suggests, the cause of a lot of poverty here is due to relationship breakdown. This could be with parents, but I have also spoken to people whose lives have crumbled after jobs have been lost, followed by their wife and then their kids, and eventually they're on the streets with alcohol, or worse, as their comfort. Whereas property rights, access to education and cheap credit are some of the major causes and solutions to third world problems, here it is relationships.

And that's why, whilst top-down policies may work elsewhere, they simply won't work here. If the problem is relationships you can't just give someone money. You can't just give them shelter. You can't just book them into detox. You need to get alongside them and befriend them. Show them that they are not forgotten. Show them that healing can come. Show that relationships can be forged just as much as they can be broken. X amount of funding, Y number of rehab programmes and Z new taxes and laws may look good on a list of things that have been done, but will they ever really solve anything by themselves?


So I believe relationships are key. And I also believe that it starts with you and me. We need to weed out seeds of exclusion and start sowing seeds of love.

Something a little less ordinary

I see today that a 'heavy metal monk' has released his second album.

The story makes for an interesting read, and I've got to say that there are bits where I think "Really? How can you do that?". However, I really appreciated the last few lines.

The story concludes by saying:
"While Brother Cesare always wears his traditional brown robe and sandals as a reminder that he has chosen a life of devotion to God, he is keen to distinguish established religion from faith, and from proselytising."

I think a lot of people looking in from the outside really don't appreciate this, and this is often the Christian's fault. The hear about the rules and regulations of religion, but not the abundant life that comes from faith in and relationship with God.

My Facebook 'religious views' says "turn and live", and this is a paraphrase of the conclusion of Ezekiel 18 (the whole chapter is definitely worth a read). And whilst some 'evangelicals' will say that this sounds very liberal, it is the essence of the gospel. All we need to do is live out the fact that to have true life, fulfilling life, you can only do so if you are in relationship with God and have belief in the Christ, and all that comes as a result of that.

Or as Brother Metal puts it:
"I do it to convert people to life, to understand life, to grab hold of life, to savour it and enjoy it. Full stop."

Not again... something needs to change

It's been a very interesting week so far with lots going on. Today I've been able to catch up with my cousin, who's coming to the end of his training before going into full service for the fire brigade. It's always good to catch up with people you haven't spoken to and this was no exception.

However, as we walked down the road to the pub, across the road there was a police van, a couple of police and tape cordoning off the street. We went in and sat down, and watched as an ambulance left, as more police arrived and as over a dozen police conducted an interview with reporters. It was obvious what had happened.

It's crazy, it really is. I don't understand it. I don't understand how people can wish to cause harm to other people, whatever the circumstances. But, whilst everyone will condemn what has happened, the trouble is that the seeds of it are demonstrated all around us. People just don't care about others, unless there is something in return for them. Cars/bikes go through red lights, because their convenience is more important than others' safety. Individuals gossip about those they know that have made a mistake or acted wrongly, because they want to be the centre of attention. Others will turn to petty crime like jumping on buses for free, taking stuff from work, or throwing their rubbish on the street, because they know they won't get caught, or they think it doesn't affect anyone.

I've heard politicians speak endlessly about how we're going to 'beat gun and knife crime'. I've been to many prayer meetings which seek to ask for an end to the violence. I've even heard politicians speak at prayer meetings and lift their prayers for an end to it all.

But this is just it. We don't get it. We want a quick fix. We want to roll out a policy, announce an amount of money that's been spent, a number of police officers that have been deployed. Or we want to spend a few hours saying prayers, asking God to intervene, seeking a divine stoppage to these atrocities. I believe policy can work, I also believe strongly that prayer works, but I also believe that this society is scarred, that it is fallen, and that the only way to bring healing to it is to live out God's standards - Kingdom values - and to change this society from its very core.

We need to start with ourselves, the choices we make and, much more than that, what our character, our essence, our very being is. When we change our heart, our actions will follow. Galatians 5:22-23 says that when we change our inner desires our life will be one of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control". That's what we need to bring about a revolution within this society. Only when we all do this, and it becomes not a chore, but the natural thing for us to do, will society begin to mend. Only then will these scenes of police officers, cars and tape be a thing of the past.

And I can't wait.

I've got my rights y'know!

For some reason society has decided that because we're fortunate enough to be born, we're owed some kind of debt. No-one knows exactly who owes it to us, but nevertheless, we have 'rights' and someone or something must see they are fulfilled and not infringed.

OK, I'm using hyperbole here, but essentially that's what it boils down to when you think about it, and it's been getting my back up for a while. The shift from annoyance to blogable material came this morning when I read the front page of The Times. It was with regards to David Cameron's remarks that a lot of social ills are caused be individual's decisions and actions. Or as The Times put it "David Cameron tells the fat and the poor: take responsibility". He suggests, quite sensibly, that whilst circumstance and other things beyond your control have a large bearing on your life, often personal choice has just a large an impact, if not larger (he gives an example of the decision to not exercise or to eat too much).

This fits nicely alongside the rights issue. We need to get out of this victim mentality and stop assuming that the reason we're in the mess we're is because of someone or something else, and that the solution will come, similarly, from somewhere apart from ourselves.

As I said at the head of this post, some seem to think that being born means we're owed something. I fundamentally disagree with this, but it's undeniable that every human has basic human needs. These could be listed as: clothing; shelter; food; water; heating; sanitation; education; basic health care. This should be the basis of any discussion, and so far all I have said is that they exist, I haven't said what the response should be, if any at all.

By shifting our phraseology from 'rights' to 'needs', this whole debate (including the sensible, much-welcomed discussion of 'basic human rights') becomes a lot more realistic and sensible and we can start to make real progress. It is no longer assumed that those basic requirements will be fulfilled, but there instead is a dialogue and consensus that needs to be created about what to do about these needs.

And this is the response we require: we must acknowledge that there are basic human needs, and from that we must agree, as a society, that these needs must be met for everybody everywhere in the world. This requires us as citizens to buy into some form of contract of shared responsibility to meet these needs. Of course, it may be that they are met by the individual themselves. I pay my own rent, buy my own food, pay my utility bills, etc. However, it might not be possible for some to be met by individuals themselves. I doubt whether I could have afforded my education costs, and perhaps would only have stayed for 7 or 8 years. Much more seriously, there are many in the world without access even to the most basic of needs, such as water and sanitation.

So we must agree that we'll have in place a safety net that says people will not fall below a certain level, they'll have their basic needs met, whether they're from down my road, in my country, or in the darkest recesses of the developing world. We'll rediscover the willful responsibility of paying taxes to help ensure no-one on this earth goes hungry, of giving up some time during our week to give something to those who otherwise would go without, and of taking action when we see that others need our help. We must admit that whilst I have needs of my own, others do too, and together we're deciding to ensure that they are met.

It's down to us to make this choice, only we can decide to stick up for those in need, and it's time we changed our mindset from "what can others do for me?" to "what can I do for others?".

Truth or the easy option?

I've just been to the commissioning of some new Salvation Army officers (ministers) and it was a very interesting, inspiring and challenging time, as these things often are.

But whilst these occasions are often a source of inspiration, they can often be a source of frustration too. In the afternoon meeting, in which the ceremony took place, there was a song entitled 'Dear Lord, I do surrender'. Now this is one of those songs that has a sentiment that a lot of other songs express too. "I'm giving up life and following God" the songs will say, and it makes it sound incredibly easy. I often nowadays fall silent during these songs and just try to contemplate what it means, and this happened again when we got to the second verse:

Too long at ease in Zion
I’ve been content to dwell,
While multitudes are dying
And sinking into Hell.
I can no more be careless,
And say there’s naught to do,
The fields are white to harvest
And labourers are few.

How on earth can you not be challenged by that verse? People are on their way to Hell and I'm saying I'm going to respond? That's not something to say lightly. And yet the third verse confirms:

O hear, thou God of Heaven,
The vows that now I make!

So everyone there was making a vow to give their life to God and live for him. But surely no matter what their intentions the song makes no sense. Either they're lying and they're not giving their lives to God, or else, if hundereds of people in the room and millions more who have song are telling the truth, then the 'labourers' really aren't that few.

I suppose what I'm saying is that for our songs to have any meaning, we have to think about what we're singing and be honest in what we proclaim. It's easy to go along with the crowd, but harder to stand there and say "you know what, I don't know if I'm actually ready for this yet". I'm really hoping that the Church will rediscover a deep longing to proclaim truth (even if it means making ourselves look like 'bad Christians') and not just do what's expected. If we're content with anything less than truth, if we're content with not being challenged, 'content to dwell', then we won't be changed, and neither will this world.