In search of the truth

Premier League Predictions

2010-08-13T22:39:00.001+01:00

I've decided not to commit to any prediction-type things this year, but still felt I should put forward some predictions for the fun of it.

My dream team

First up, I had a go at the Telegraph Fantasy League just to see who I could come up with, and, spending the full £50m budget and plumping for a 3-5-2 formation, my team is:

-----------------------------------------Cech (C)---------------------------------------

-------------K. Toure (MC)----------Nelsen (Bl)------------Jagielka (E)-----------

--Malouda (C)-Malbranque (Su)--Arteta (E)---Cahill (E)--A. Johnson (MC)-

----------------------------Anelka (C)-----------Tevez (MC)-------------------------

Bl - Blackburn

C - Chelsea

E - Everton

MC - Manchester City

Su - Sunderland

Premier League 2010-11 final positions

I've also made some predictions for the final Premier League table:

1 Chelsea

2 Manchester United

3 Manchester City

4 Arsenal

5 Liverpool

6 Tottenham

7 Everton

8 Aston Villa

9 Sunderland

10 Blackburn

11 Birmingham

12 Fulham

13 Bolton

14 West Ham

15 Stoke

16 Wolves

17 Newcastle

18 West Brom

19 Wigan

20 Blackpool

Premier League 2011-12 - A Heads-Up

Finally, I thought I'd make some predictions for the following season.

Essentially I think this'll be the closest season in a long, long time, with anyone of about 6 teams in with a shout at the title and two or three others not far behind.

Chelsea will still be the most obvious team to win it, but with Drogba another year older and Cech and Terry potentially starting to falter, their success will depend on how their younger players progress over the next couple of years. Manchester United will be playing their first season without Giggs, Scholes and Neville, and - whilst they're not exactly the fastest and most agile of players at this age - their nous, commitment, and ability to turn games (perhaps with the exception of Neville) will be sorely missed. Manchester City will have had a year to get all their new players settled in and Mancini will have had his first full season in England under his belt, meaning they will be primed for an assault on the title. Arsenal too will have their best chance yet, as whilst people are always tipping them to finally regain their form of the mid-2000s, they will have a squad of coherence, experience and refinement to match the raw talent and hunger that has been evident yet unharnessed so far.

Liverpool, having had a season out of the Champions League and Roy Hodgson having had some time to make his mark, assuming they hold on to Gerrard, Torres and Reina, that they have Mascherano or someone else as an anchor in midfield, and Carragher is still playing well, they should be in with an outside chance. Tottenham, without the distraction of Champions League football, will be able to focus their attention on climbing the table, and with Harry Redknapp now firmly established and many of the players hitting their peak, they too will be dark horses to gatecrash the top two of United and Chelsea. Their challenge may well depend on whether they can find a settled and injury-free centre back pairing.

Beyond that, Everton are establishing themselves, but a second appearance in the top four still looks beyond them, whilst Villa look to be in a bit of turmoil currently and how they deal with that will have a big impact on their medium-term progress. As for Blackburn, Birmingham, Sunderland and Fulham, who seem to be the next set of teams, it is hard to see them pushing much further beyond where they are now, barring big investment, which isn't beyond belief, particularly if investors cotton on to the league's potential openness which will make it an opportune time to try and break further up the table.

Nearer the bottom, if Newcastle stay up it'd be good to see them pushing into the top half and getting back somewhere closer to the championship-challenging side of 15 years ago, whilst West Ham also have potential to get back to their former highs. Bolton meanwhile are looking a bit more like what they were a few years ago, having firmly established themselves as a Premier League team in spite of guru Sam Allardyce's departure. It may also be that, if Leeds can make back-to-back promotions, then yet another fallen giant could seek to re-establish themselves in the top league in the world. Sadly I think it could be a fair few years before we see the glamour boys of Hillsborough doing so.

Likely cabinet?

2010-05-10T10:56:00.000+01:00

So I was close with Labour's seats but over-estimated the Lib Dems a bit (but didn't we all?) and the Tories did a bit better. Interesting to see an Green MP get in - could be some interesting discussions in the house as a result of that.

It looks as though the Lib Dems are going to side with the Conservatives, which in terms of traditional politics would make the most sense, with the Tories having the bigger mandate. However the possibility of a coalition between Labour, the Lib Dems, the SDLP, SNP and Plaid Cymru is very appealing in terms of it being cross-party, which is something I really like. However, I think the electorate, not to mention the Tories, would be pretty annoyed about this and the Tories would do everything to stop it working, which kind of defeats the object of it. I still deeply just want them to all work together, so in a way the most obvious scenario seems a bit lame, but I guess perhaps it could be a dress rehearsal for when PR comes in and the parties have to work together a lot more. Working with one other party is probably difficult enough for the time being.

If it is going to be a Conservative/Liberal Democrat coalition then this could be the cabinet:

Prime Minister: David Cameron (Con)

Chancellor of the Exchequer: Kenneth Clarke (Con)

Chief Secretary to the Treasury: George Osboune (Con)

Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills: Vince Cable (LD)

Home Secretary: Nick Clegg (LD)

Foreign Secretary: William Hague (Con)

Secretary of State for Women and Equality: Theresa May (Con)

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions: Iain Duncan Smith (Con)

Secretary of State for Environment Food and Rural Affairs: Nick Herbert (Con)

Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families: David Laws (LD)

Secretary of State for International Development: Ed Davey (LD)

Secretary of State for Defence: Liam Fox (Con)

Secretary of State for Health: David Willets (Con)

Secretary of State for Justice: Dominic Grieve (Con)

Secretary of State for Transport: Lord Adonis (Neutral?)

Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport: Theresa Villiers (Con)

Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government: Chris Huhne (LD)

Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change: Michael Gove (Con)

That's actually a pretty good cabinet, with a lot of talented people in it (I would say more so that currently, even without the help of the Lib Dems).

p.s. This assumes the departments don't change, which they could do if they're trying to save money. CMS could be merged with something else, innovation and skills back with DCSF (not a sofa shop despite the name....) to form education, and whilst merging Energy and Climate change back with DEFRA would make sense it probably won't happen for fear of upsetting people with the message it sends out.

Explaining why I'm so bad at getting on with things...

2010-05-07T19:15:00.001+01:00

Interesting article on the BBC website about why we spend so much time searching the internet, checking our emails and, I guess you can add, looking up election results.

"At distraction's heart aren't silicon chips, but an unwillingness to confront very human issues: pain, boredom, anxiety." Pretty deep, but probably pretty correct too.

My take on the General Election

2010-05-06T21:59:00.002+01:00

So soon we will know what the outcome is of the election, which given how much time I'm wasted being absorbed in the build-up is probably a good thing! I've decided not to stay up, as an early night and an early(ish) morning seems more realistic. But anyway, I thought I'd give my thoughts as I haven't blogged in a while.

Personality and Fear vs Character and Hope

These former two themes seem to me have been central to the campaigns of, at the very least, the Labour and Conservative parties (as well as the BNP obviously) much to my distress. On the one hand we have Labour saying that if you vote for the Conservatives then there'll be cuts, the recovery will collapse, and we'll go back to the 'dark days of the 1980s'. On the other the hand the Conservatives seem to want to convince us that Labour intentions are to increase unemployment, destroy the health service and turn our children into ill-educated delinquents. Both are pretty preposterous, whilst the idea that a hung Parliament will lead to Armageddon is to be honest extremely patronising (and hardly surprising given that the Conservatives want to be in overall control). Having said that, if no party has a working majority come this time tomorrow I probably will burn my neighbour's house down and eat my own hand.

I don't for a minute think the Liberal Democrats are amazingly better, but at least they've talked of something different, of being distinct and trying something new. It hasn't exactly been Obama-style, but at least they have some policies that look slightly daring, such as raising the personal allowance, questioning Trident, and other politically bold things such as scrapping the Child Trust Fund.

Europe

Having said that I'm not too sure about going further into Europe. In fact I'm quite keen to withdraw from the EU. This isn't for the UK's sake necessarily though, as my main reason is that half the EU budget goes on the Common Agricultural Policy, the main purpose of which seems to be screwing over Africa to the benefit of southern-European farmers. My issue isn't that we shouldn't care about Europeans, but that we should care for the rest of the world just as much.

Why can't the children just get along?

My main gripe though is just how little politicians seem to get along, at least the high-profile ones. David Cameron has a sound-bite that says in society currently we treat the adults as children and the children as adults. Well I think the politicians behave like children and until they can grow up and sort their differences out, we shouldn't let anyone have a majority (kind of the political equivalent of putting them on the naughty step...)

I think it's obvious that the main reason MPs go into politicians is because of a passion to change society for the better (at least in their eyes), however they just don't seem to be able to do it in cooperation. Gone are the days of the unions vs big business, with things a lot more 'central' on the political spectrum. This is a positive thing as, at the very least, there is pressure on the ruling party to do well otherwise the other party may well be voted in - in contrast, in the past if you didn't like the unions then if the Conservatives were doing badly you might not think voting 'red' would make things any better).

But much further this, I think it means that there is more common ground, where politicians can look across party divisions to see how the nation can be helped, particularly in the current economic and social climate. A practical point is that, whoever gets in, they're going to have to cut spending, and, from a party-political view, would you rather take the decision as a coalition, or be labelled for a generation as the party that put taxes up and spending down and then the economy didn't recover anyway (maybe...)? Let's have a cabinet with a mixture of the three parties (in addition to the Scotland minister coming from a Scottish party and the same for Wales and Northern Ireland), and if we really need a Prime Minister (which I am highly dubious about), let the three have it for six months each on a rotating basis! In simple terms we need politicians who put the people before their party.

My prediction

So... here's what I reckon seats-wise. Bit of a stab in the dark as I don't think the swing will be uniform at all, but I reckon that a lot of first-time voters will go Lib Dem, and that in any place where they are marginal they will seriously challenge. The Conservatives will be close to a majority but not quite, as they haven't managed to capitalise on Labour's failings as general dissatisfaction, as I don't think a lot of people have confidence in where the Conservatives want to take things. Labour will lose a lot of seats, but I think people still see them as more caring than the Conservatives, and also see Gordon Brown and other cabinet ministers as more heavyweight than their counterparts, which people will bear in mind when envisaging who they wish to govern. So here goes:

Conservatives..........290

Labour.....................255

Liberal Democrats....85

Others......................20

Are Christians Being Persecuted in the UK?

2010-04-06T20:41:00.000+01:00

The short answer is probably no. Having watched a programme on Sunday night asking that question, it seemed pretty clear that it's not the case. As the Archbishop of Canterbury has wisely suggested, we need to keep a sense of proportion. Much worse things happen to Christians elsewhere around the world. But much more than this, you can only really consider something persecution if you are prevented from doing something because of something you are or choose to do without good reason. Not being allowed to wear a cross at work doesn't constitute persecution because you don't have to take the job, nor is essential to wear a cross. If they were saying you could never wear a cross, even in your own home, or if they were saying you couldn't have ginger hair at work, then that would be more like persecution.

More realistically, you could say that Christianity is being marginalised. Things that were once the norm no longer are. Beliefs, values and practices are changing, and no longer are things that are, to some, deemed 'Christian' held to by the majority of the land. However, a lot of the people bemoaning this fact don't even follow Christ as their king, and so are more concerned with preserving their own culture than about anything else.

The important question is how do Christians respond as things start to change and these values and practices are no longer considered the norm? On the one hand you can become defensive, inward-looking, and ultimately very selfish, seeing the Christian's role as 'defending the faith', hoping that we don't become infected by the rest of society. On the other hand you can seek to be like Jesus, grounded in your identity in Christ, outward-focused, caring for others, focused not on outward practices but on the underlying worldview of people and their need to know and follow God.

OK, so 'Christianity', or at least its cultural façade, is retreating from mainstream society, but do we feel sorry for ourselves and look inwards, or do we look upwards and outwards, trusting in God, and seeking to know Him more and to make Him known to those around us?

There's no time like Kairos time

2010-03-22T00:24:00.002Z

Today I completed a 'missions' course called Kairos which I have been taking part in some weekends over the last month or so. There are two words in Greek for 'time'. 'Chronos' refers to a length of time, whereas 'Kairos' refers to a period in time when something special happens. In this course the sense is that now is the time for seeing the world know and follow God.

I was on the course mainly because Transform had signed me up, and so I wasn't in the same place as other people in terms of wanting to explore heading abroad, but it has nevertheless been extremely thought-provoking and given me much to mull over. We spent the first half going through the Biblical 'macrotheme' of being blessed to be a blessing, encapsulated in the promises made to Abraham, and then later to Isaac and to Jacob. The notion here is that God chose a people to be blessed by Him, but with the intention that they should be a beacon to the rest of the world to demonstrate the goodness of God and the need to follow Him. This has really helped me to get a better understanding of the role of Israel, and of a lot of the more difficult passages in the Old Testament, whereby God did all He could to keep them from idolatry and mixing with other races that followed false gods. How could they bless others if they were not following God and were not able to demonstrate to others a good way of living?

The Great Commission given by the Christ to His disciples further demonstrates God's heart that all people groups (nations) of the world should come to know Him, and the images given in the Bible's concluding book, Revelation, are ones where every tribe and tongue worships God. Jesus even said that He would not come again until every nation had been told of the Good News of the Kingdom of God.

As I said, this stuff really clicked and has helped me to see the Bible through eyes that make it come alive and make so much more sense. But much more than this, it's given me a wake-up call to the much bigger perspective God has of life and its meaning. How often have I prayed concerned to the point of worry about whether I should do this or that, make choice A or B, go here or there? My prayers have become so inward focused. Now I've asked these questions with good intentions, wanting to do what is best in God's eyes, what He desires, and yet as I see tribes from remote parts of the world (see below) reacting with joy at the simple message of sins forgiven through following God, I can't help but think God might just be saying "stop worrying about the little things and just focus on me and the bigger picture".

So often I worry about things, or just thoughtlessly get on with things because I want to do them, and when I do pray its just about myself and what I need to do. I need to seek God so much more, to pray without ceasing, seeking his will, and praying for others, whether friends, family, those in my community, or unreached peoples all around the world.

So now is the time, the Kairos, for the Church to see the bigger the picture; to thank God for his amazing blessings, and to seek to be a blessing to the rest of the world, taking the Good News of the Kingdom of God to all people everywhere. And it must start with me.

Thought for lent

2010-02-21T13:44:00.001Z

At the start of lent here is something interesting I picked up last year from a friend who blogs.

The First Thought of Christmas - Is tolerance a good thing?

2009-12-25T23:59:00.003Z

Putting to one side the title of this blog, and any thoughts you have about what you should say or do, read this statement and ask yourself whether you think this practice is something that should be celebrated and encouraged:

To allow something that one dislikes or disagrees with to exist or occur without interference.

Apply this statement to a variety of scenarios. The child being bullied in the playground, the X-Factor winner claiming Christmas number one yet again, the tyranny of a country by an oppressive regime, a friend who always interrupts you as you chat with others at the pub, the ever-increasing belly that pertrudes from your torso as age takes its toll on your body's metabolism.

Each of these situations will, for many people, involve things that the individual strongly dislikes or disagrees with, things that really gripes them or drives them to despair. Obviously the extent to which they do will differ, and so too the reasons why. But in each of them, how many of us would turn, look at someone shrugging their shoulders and saying "oh well, not my business", and think to themself "wow; what a guy". And yet to me it seems that to hold up as a beacon of dignity, class and humanity this value of 'tolerance' is to do exactly that.

Some would say these signs each depict somewhat contradictory messages.

Now, we only have a limited amount of time and energy from which to act and, as such, for some things we might have to say maybe it really doesn't matter. In some cases our dislike may be down to a trifling matter of taste, and perhaps on these occasions diversity of taste is something to be embraced (although arguably whilst we might be inclined to think "yes, let the masses have their way and in droves buy the latest manufactured pop mush" perhaps instead we could make an effort to introduce them to the delights of the more acquired tastes of the latest offering of our favourite Philharmonic, or our idolised punk-thrash-metal band).

The main issue, I feel, is that people mix up arguments of tolerance versus intolerance with deciding how to express that intolerance. The desires that drove a million people to protest against the war in Iraq stem as much from intolerance as those that drove the armed forces of nations to depose Saddam Hussein and conduct the aforementioned war in the first place. Of course the action that resulted from those two incidences of intolerance differed dramatically, but, nevertheless, intolerance it was. Similarly, when faced with a playground bully you wouldn't think to tolerate it, but this intolerance could, on the one hand, mean giving the boy a thump, on the other letting a teacher put him in detention to write some lines and tell him not to do it again, or alternaitvely to seek to understand why he wants to do such a thing (has he been bullied previously, does he feel isolated, are there family troubles at home?) and help him to change and improve his life and those of them around him.

Interestingly, not many of the other Times articles mentioning tolerance (see below) have such a positive view.

As you can probably tell, my inkling in response to the question I pose in the title is that tolerance isn't all it's cracked up to be, something I was reminded of when reading the leading article in yesterday's Times ('A Time for Tolerance'). The writer brings up in his article the role of tolerance within the dynamics of the established Church - something I'll return to later in the week - but it is his closing statement that really puzzles me. He says that to fight the falsehood of other people's views is not the message of Christ, but rather that it is that "we are all, as children, equally blessed and must tolerate and respect what is good in each of us". This is the same Christ that said "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". Not really the language of someone saying "so basically do yer best and try not to annoy anyone". No, Jesus wasn't a tolerant chap, as witnessed in his turning of the tables in the temple, in the countless occasions he confronted the religious leaders of the day and, outrageously, stood up for the marginalised and down-trodden, and most importantly in how he allowed himself to be arrested, tried and executed, that he might die for the sins of the world.

Jesus could have looked at the wrong doings of people everywhere and said "that's OK", he could have let people go on their merry way, walking to their death oblivious to the consequences of their choices and actions, but instead he chose not to tolerate it, taking the one action that could actually do anything to change things and reconcile us to God. Even the nativity stories we may have read in the last few days make this clear.

So I wonder; is tolerance just the easy way out? Are we called to be intolerant of the things we see to be wrong and unjust and to make a difference? I have a feeling the answer is yes, but that still leaves the uncomfortable and much, much harder question - what are we then going to do about it?

Twelve Thoughts of Christmas - 2009's lessons

2009-12-25T23:31:00.000Z

My blogging has been sparse the last few months, but every now and again I've jotted down some thoughts. Perhaps I should have done an advent countdown but I was too late, and, besides, this way I only need half as many thoughts! But anyway, here are some of the things that have struck me over the last twelve months.

Oh, and Happy Christmas to you all!

The 'gaul' of a man who only had to put his hand up (or not get his hand involved in the first place...)

2009-11-19T21:25:00.004Z

It's the story everyone is talking about at the moment (no, not the Queen's speech, although maybe we can lead the way by introducing a bill encouraging people playing football to not use their hands...). Yes, it's 'Le Hand of God', which completed France's precarious path to qualifying for the 2010 Fifa World Cup, leaving the Irish pushed to one side, sitting on their backsides, with nothing but the knowledge that deserved to win on the night to be their comfort. In all likelihood they'd probably had rather have lost 1-0 than going out in such excruciating circumstances.

Some may say that my title doesn't do Monsieur Henry justice - he did indeed own up, even to the players whilst he was still on the pitch, but, to be honest, he might have well have kept quiet - what help is it admitting it then? At least if you're going to admit it express some kind of remorse. At the very least admit what you did was wrong and against the law and the spirit of the game, let alone good human nature. I can't believe Richard Dunne bought the cop out of it being down to the referee - the referee couldn't see, Thierry could see (not to mention feel) it. The job of the referee is to help enforce the laws of the game. He doesn't go around whispering in the ears of players to tell them not to foul people, not to use your hands or not punch someone in the face. There's some level of co-operation that needs to go on, where that natural inclination is for every player to stick to the rules and admit when they've slipped up if it's needed.

I think the whole episode says a lot about society. One, those backing Henry seem to have this mentality of 'you get as much as you can with as little as possible input', and these people seem to assume that everyone else wishes to behave in this way too. Fortunately, this isn't true. Being a proper man (or woman), is about having integrity, rooted in a sense of right and wrong, and striving to see a better world for all. Take away integrity and you become a liar who swings one way or the other at the drop of a hat, lose a sense of right and wrong and your decisions are of no merit, and without the perspective of a better world you become content with seeing unrealised potential present in the outworking of life. However, and this leads to point two, people do actually seem to see this lack of 'manliness' and get really riled. For something that is essentially just a game, this is remarkable. Whilst this is in no small part due to the overblown nature of football in the modern world, I think it's also due to the high value we intrinsically see in opposing injustice. Irrelevant of whether the Irish 'deserved' to win on the run of play, in that one decision an injustice that saw the most basic of football rules broken and not rectified left the watching public seething. Perhaps this suggests that all is not lost as far as society is concerned - if only we could harness that anger at injustice and direct it towards reducing poverty, climate change and the other more pressing matters of the day - think of the possibilities!

As an aside, someone on the BBC forum suggested this news should have alerted us sooner...!

(Some Biblical advice for Thierry Henry: Micah 6:8)

Animals never fail to amuse...

2009-11-06T15:29:00.000Z

Bit of an odd story, but those kind of stories are normally the most popular on the BBC website. Never mind the baldness, why are the bears wearing spectacles?

Also, does anyone remember the good old days of Sesame Street? Here are some interesting about them - lots of reminiscing! (here and here)

When you get digging you sometimes hit a nerve

2009-11-03T14:05:00.001Z

Someone recently told me about a group from the 1600s known as the Diggers/True Levellers. They were a group of Christians who sort to live out the principals of the early Church in Acts. At their heart they wanted small, agrarian communities, where humans and nature had an ecological interrelationship and, essentially, ownership and property was levelled out. They were seen as anarchistic, probably would still be seen that way today to some extent, and the establishment certainly weren't too happy. They made sure the Diggers were disrupted and squashed, and after around two years were disbanded.

The reaction doesn't really surprise me. I always have a little chuckle on the inside when people say we used to be a Christian country. My experience growing up at the tail end of Christendom, and confirmed in stories I hear such as these, is that when true Christianity is witness, when the Kingdom of God breaks through, the establishment (which by the definition of Christendom includes the Church) generally feels a bit threatened and gets pretty annoyed, lashing out.

Last night in my Transform teaching we talked about the Kingdom of God, and how it is inextricably linked to economy (look at Jesus' parables). When the Kingdom comes in, the poor are preached good news, and people are set free, and that needs to be witnessed in our economy too. As the financial crisis sees the old ways of doing things crumble, I feel we really need to ask ourselves whether the focus is on looking after people until the old model is patched up and ready to go again, or alternatively do we reimagine how things are done and start to bring about new ways of living (Jubilee anyone?). Ways that protect the poor, the widow and the orphan, rather than just are own self interest.

It may be hard for us to see how that can be done on a big scale, but then Jesus often did things more relationally and intimately, starting small and demonstrating the kingdom there, and then seeing it grow. Maybe we need to start small, helping transform our relationships and our communities, and demonstrating to people there is a better way, preaching the good news and announcing that a new king (instead of financial wealth and security) has arrived?

(Biblical 'true levellers': Acts 2:42-47)

Is war a game?

2009-11-02T11:40:00.001Z

I saw this just round the corner from my house and couldn't help but wonder what message people might take from it...

Stunning strike

2009-10-31T17:19:00.001Z

This is pretty awesome. By the look of this video he wasn't a bad player in his day!

"Forgive me"

2009-10-31T16:53:00.002Z

Been a while, will post some more stuff soonish - lots has been going on.

Read an interesting story about a man showing remorse for a rape he committed in his teenage years. Shocking to hear that 1 in 4 men in South Africa have admitted committing rape. Throws up many questions about forgiveness and justice - as can be seen from the comments from the public at the bottom of the article.

Reminds me of stuff I've been reading about the Forgiveness Project, in particular the story of Jo Berry and Pat Magee, a man who bombed the Conservative Conference in Brighton 25 years ago, killing Jo's father. Although he still feels violence can be justified and that the IRA were right for making a stand, he feels immense remorse that her father died, and the two have become friends as the explore what causes people to take such actions, but mainly what it means to forgive.

Jo has recently launched her own charity, Building Bridges for Peace, and she will, along with Pat, be leading a workshop at the Leeds Summat which takes place 21st-22nd November.

(Examples of forgiveness: Jesus to the adulteress; Jesus regarding how many times to forgive; forgiving others because we've been forgiven so much more; Jesus on the cross)

Pioneers

2009-09-29T13:40:00.002+01:00

[I wrote this about 2 or 3 weeks ago now - finally got round to posting it!]

Putting your music on shuffle always throws up a great variety of music, some you’d forgotten about, some you’re just embarrassed that you own (the music from Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth’s wedding just got an airing...??!?), and perhaps a buried classic off some such album, which you treasure and secretly hope that somehow no-one else has ever heard before. Well I’m not sure what category this fits in, but the song 'The Pioneers' from 'Silent Alarm' by Bloc Party just played out and it makes for interesting listening.

It speaks about people who are starting out something new, with ambitious goals for making a change, but knowing they are not the first to attempt such feats. "If it can be broke then it can be fixed. If it can be fused then it can be split. If it can be lost then it can be won. If it can be touched then it can be turned." Noble aims by the sound of it, and according to the singer, "it’s all under control"; "all we need is time". However, as the song continues, the realisation hits them of the challenges ahead of them. "We promised the world we’d tame it; what were we hoping for?" questions Kele, articulating the thoughts that 'pioneers' must often feel, overwhelmed by what they've taken on, and struggling to progress.

By the end of the song the band are now exclaiming that they "will not be the last", perhaps resigning themselves to the fact that whilst they thought they might be the ones to finally crack it, to change the world, they’re not going to do it. Wise to the draw that they first felt, they can see that others will attempt to take on this task in the future.

Moving to Leeds I guess there is a sense in my mind that I’m being a bit of a pioneer, and I guess I have mixed feelings about this. In one sense I’m not really doing anything new, of my own initiative. I’m helping with youth work that’s been going on for 6 years now, helping a decade-old ministry for addicts, and part of a young-but-established think-tank that is seeking to impact Leeds. But within these I have a chance to bring original ideas, fresh tweaks and potential new ways forward.

It seems to me that this pioneer lark is a mix of contrasts. You need to have the audacity to imagine big things, but know your limitations. You need to be aware of where people have gone wrong in the past, but believe you can get it 'right' this time round. You can’t be naive and think that you alone will change the world, but I believe that things I and others do can change the worlds of individuals. The lonely child coming to the club wanting some time feeling valued, the alcoholic wanting to find someone who will believe he can make it, the person walking down the street that just wants someone to smile at them once, wants someone to speak to.

I'm certainly not the first to dream about what can be achieved, nor will I be the last, and I know I can’t do it on my own, no matter how much time I have. No, it’s only by God’s grace and power that I can do anything, and so it’s to Him I look as this year commences. He’s the ultimate pioneer.

(God as pioneer: Genesis 1:1, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Revelation 21:1-5)

A new beginning

2009-09-29T13:16:00.002+01:00

So...

I have no internet, my laptop is broken, and I'm just getting into the swing of living in Leeds, and all this has combined to mean I've not done any blog posts for over a month now...

Hopefully you'll have seen the big banner at the top of my blog with a link to a website about my gap year in Leeds, which has lots of info about what I'm doing and why. Hopefully as I get internet and a computer that works, I'll be able to keep people updated through this blog, as well as providing general thoughts, etc. that arise throughout the year. There's lots of challenging teaching I'll be picking up, plus in the everyday of doing this and that God is always speaking to me (and all of us), and new challenges are constantly arising, so I'm sure I'll have lots of things buzzing through my mind. I'll try to be selective with what I post!

They gave to anyone as he had need

2009-08-20T15:57:00.001+01:00

I came across an interesting post about the giving attitude of the early Church, from a random(ish) blog I've found (I think via a blog application on Facebook - I guess more of these applications are useful than I first thought). I've always wondered why modern-day churches that pride themselves on their sound Bible teaching and indepth knowledge of the Bible don't look much like this... In contrast, it seems it was the early Christians' gut reaction in response to the gospel, once they had begun living as a part of the family of God. What a challenge to those of us that believe!

Going against the grain

2009-08-20T15:31:00.001+01:00

It was interesting to read about Shane Supple, who has decided to quit professional football at the age of 22, by the sounds of it because he was bored of it. My initial reaction, and I'm sure everyone else's, is to think "What?!?". Being paid a ridiculous amount of money (as he probably was if he was in the first-team squad for a Championship side) to do what a lot of people do for fun, with many opportunities ahead of him, seems like a dream come true. And I guess that's what people think looking in from the outside. However, as Shane himself said, "As you grow up you realise there are other things in life and to be honest, the game is not what I thought it was."

It seems that maybe life isn't just about football, but there's more to it than that. Maybe we should take a leaf out of Shane's book and, rather than just carry on doing what's expected of us, get on with finding out what it's actually all about, whatever that may cost. "People probably think I'm crazy but I'm not going to stay in the game for anyone else, I'm making this decision for myself."

What's your type?

2009-08-18T15:55:00.002+01:00

There are some pretty useless Facebook applications out there ('which New Testament character are you?', 'send your friend a magic hug' and something about making a farm and taking pictures and that), but occasionally I've stumbled across some interesting and professionally-made apps that are enjoyable to explore. One such application is 'My Type Personality' (type that into the Facebook search box and you can find it), which I completed about a year ago.

It is based around the Myers-Briggs personality tests, which use a series of questions to determine what you are classed as in four different categories. Are you introverted or extroverted, intuitive or sensing, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving? Given the different combinations these create, there are 16 different personality types, and these come with a description of what the characteristics of such an individual would be. This application also provides comparisons with other personality types, to suggest what kind of relationships you will most likely have with those individuals. The descriptions are surprisingly accurate, and it is a lot of fun to see how it comes out, so I'd encourage you to take the test and see what it says.

To whet your appetite, here's what it said about me. I think it's quite accurate - what do you reckon?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Innovator

Extroverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving (ENTP)

Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into one-up-manship. They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Typically good-natured, upbeat and laid-back, ENTPs can be delightful people to be around. They get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from interacting with others, and especially enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts which interest them. They may be prone to initiate arguments because they so enjoy the debate. They are generally fun-loving and gregarious, and can be quite charming. They have a problem with sometimes neglecting their close relationships when they become involved in the pursuit of a new idea or plan.

ENTP Strengths

● Enthusiastic, upbeat, and popular - Much more than I used to be.

● Can be very charming - I think I've spent too much time round older ladies at church...

● Excellent communication skills - I've been known to deliver a mean presentation when needed (as long as I don't mumble).

● Extremely interested in self-improvement and growth in their relationships - I am very self-aware and actively encourage people to give me constructive criticism.

● Laid-back and flexible, usually easy to get along with - I think I tend to try to see the best in others, particularly those I don't know too well.

● Big idea-people, always working on a grand scheme or idea - in the space of about three years I've gone from having no idea, to not being able to sleep without spending half an hour redesigning a building or town or inventing something-or-other.

● Usually good at making money, although not so good at managing it - Ha, not sure about making it, but I've still got bills I owe from 18 months ago, so pretty accurate.

● Take their commitments and relationships very seriously - I'd like to think so, although doesn't stop me being late - I never miss them at least (unless people get fed up of waiting)!

● Able to move on with their lives after leaving a relationship - way too easily (well, if we mean friendships).

ENTP Weaknesses

● Always excited by anything new, they may change partners frequently - this website is definitely tapping into the online dating market! I don't change partners frequently (I don't have one to change....). Definitely excited by new things though.

● Tendency to not follow through on their plans and ideas - Not enough time to...

● Their love of debate may cause them to provoke arguments - Ha, yeah, that might just about be me...

● Big risk-takers and big spenders, not usually good at managing money - See comment in strengths - on the plus side, when I eventually ask housemates for money it means they give me a lot...

Skating on thin ice

2009-08-18T14:46:00.001+01:00

My friend Steve recently made a post about faith, and this reminded me of an illustration I heard a while ago.

Imagine two people, out in the middle of winter, who come to two different lakes, both of which have frozen over. One is apprehensive, and edges out, slowly, but surely, steadying themselves, and forever aware of the ice, ready to get off if it starts to crack. The other is care-free, sprinting out to the middle of the lake, jumping, rolling, and having a great time, with no thought for the potentially-fragile ice sheet below him. Unfortunately for the second guy, the ice is very thin, and begins to crack. Fearless, and trusting that the ice would hold his weight, he is now in extreme danger and the ice soon gives way, and the man is left stranded, without a hope. Meanwhile the other guy, after a while, becomes more confident. As he tests the ice out, he learns that it is solid, that it holds his weight, and knowing this, he trusts it will hold. He runs, he jumps, he skates and dances and does whatever comes to mind, trusting, with good reason, that the ice beneath his feet is solid and won't let him down.

Hopefully you see the parallel, but it's important to say that everyone has their faith in something, whether it be money, a house, a job, family, friends, whatever, and in many circumstances and to varying degrees, this is a good thing - we need to trust to live in community and to plan for the future. But they will all fail at some point, none of them are perfect. We can't even put complete faith in ourselves, as one day we will die and our bodies betray us. For the people whose faith is built on that and nothing less, they will be left exposed when all is said and done. But I believe that God is solid, will bear us up, and is worthy to be trusted.

But this is the other important point. The main thing isn't how strong your faith is. It can be really weak, you can be crawling, on your knees, but if you put your faith in the right thing, then that is what matters. As our faith grows and we learn to trust more, we can move with more freedom, enjoy it more, and learn, receive and give much more, living life to the full, as it was intended to be.

So first and foremost, it's far more important what your faith is in than how strong your faith is, but secondly, once we've found something we can trust in forevermore, we should seek to have a deeper faith, to grow, and to be safe in the knowledge of eternity assured, forever, in paradise.

Goodbye...

2009-08-04T15:57:00.002+01:00

I found this today when clearing out some old computer games. I think I printed it out when I found it on the net, at a guess around 2001/2? Anyway, just to confirm, I didn't write it, although at the time I remember thinking I felt the same, but wasn't strong enough to take the same bold step. We did eventually make the split, and it was definitely for the best - life has certainly changed for the better. There will, though, always be a special place in my heart for it.

As you read this I will have already gone. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think we can carry on the way we are. This may come as a surprise to you, as I know we’ve been getting on well, but we have to stop this. Now. You’ve been a big part of my life for a long time, and you have no idea how long I’ve thought about this. It’s been playing on my mind for months and months. It’s hard to explain exactly why I feel the way I do. All I know is that we have to move on.

Oh we’ve had good times. Plenty of them. That time we won the Champions League with Gillingham, the 67th minute winner from Robbie Keane, I remember it vividly. Moore shoots! Frey parries it! It falls to Keane! Goal for Gillingham!!! Ah, the memories.. . but I mustn’t reminisce, they are only memories. Oh, but when I beat my mate Tom 2-0 in the FA Cup final. The look on his face! And when I spent a whole day with you, and we managed to complete the whole season (resulting in winning the domestic treble) in one day. And when you told me that the fans chanted my name after winning the UEFA Cup. And that magic comeback in the Second Division play-off final. And... and.. .oh I love you CM. Some of the most rewarding times of my life have been spent with you. I’m not denying that. It’s these good times that make it so hard for me to write what I’m going to. But it has to be done. It has to.

I mustn’t get caught up in the nostalgia. We’ve had some great times, sure. But we’ve had some bad times too. How about when we managed to get relegated from Division 1? How about when I was sacked after the first three games of the season, even though I had taken Gillingham from the Second Division to the Premiership? And how can we forget the crash of ‘98. I know you remember it too. Yes, corrupted save game file on the eve of the Champions League final. Leicester v. Lazio. We had just clinched the Premiership title, and had a full-strength side for the clash with the Italian giants. But it wasn’t to be. I didn’t see you for months after that! But eventually, as always, I came back. That’s another thing, why do you have to be so addictive? When we were seeing each other frequently, I almost entirely lost contact with my other friends. I’m sorry to bring them up, I know how you hate ‘others’, and that dreaded phrase: ‘social life’. Once upon a time, you had power over me; you began to persuade me to think like you do. I started to truly believe that going out was evil. Staying in with you was good. Looking back, maybe the crash of ‘98 was a good thing. If we hadn’t had that falling out, then who knows where I’d be? I could have no friends, no prospects, no life. You have to understand, you are not the only thing in life. I have other needs that you can’t fulfill. I need to eat, sleep, get exercise. Only now I realize that you used your charms to deprive me of my needs. You were bad for me, Champy, bad.

But why say this now? We’ve been together for over 5 years, why choose to bring all this up? Well, I’ll be brutally honest, I’m afraid that you just don’t satisfy me any more. Oh, it’s not your fault. But up to now I’ve been able to tolerate your flaws. Your possessiveness, your addictiveness, it’s been balanced out by the joy that we used to experience. But now it’s different. When I load you up I don’t feel the same sense of anticipation. When I score I don’t thrust my fist into the air. When I lose I don’t bury my head in my hands. I fear that we’ve been together for too long, and I’m getting, for want of a better word, bored. You’ve been the same for too long, and I need something new. I know how hard this must be for you. I know how hard you’ve tried to improve yourself. The player comparison, the attribute masking. You even went and got yourself a fancy DVD case. These revived us for a short time, but we both knew it was the same old you underneath. Everything around us was changing so rapidly. Ever heard of 3D graphics? Other games went and made themselves compatible with hardware. They took the leap into the unknown. You didn’t. You couldn’t. I can’t really complain, we used to be so happy. I asked myself, why fix something that wasn’t broke? Your inner beauty shone through the rough exterior, it blinded me. All I’m saying is that you were perfect at the time. 3D wouldn’t have suited you anyway. Text has always been your best format. And don’t say that you’ll change, you can’t. It pains me to say this, but you’ve been left behind, Champ. Surely you realize that we were only delaying the inevitable. The more time we spend together, the less excited I get. Everything is the same. Same interface, same engine, same system.

It’s not just this. The little things are starting to niggle at me now: the super-goalies, the last-minute goals, the absence of a decent manual, the lack of interaction. Before, I could tolerate it. I believed your excuses, “They don’t exist”, “They happen to Al managers as well”, “It isn’t needed”, “I’m not capable of doing that”. I just accepted them and played on, little did I know that you were fobbing me off every time. These little details just serve as a reminder to me that you’re just a game, and a flawed one at that. When you came into my life you blew me away. It was 1998, I was young. Your detail, your realism, your entertainment. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. It put my previous love, CM2, to shame. But as the years have gone by I’ve moved on and so has technology. However you’ve remained the same old Champ. You’ve tried to keep up, but you can’t. I need more. I need to be able to really interact with my players, staff, and the media. I need to be able to see a visual representation of what my players are doing out there on the pitch. I need to be able to play with other people, on the Internet. Yes. People. Internet. Two words you hardly know the meaning of. You have to understand, this is what I need, and we both know that you can’t provide it any more. I need excitement. I need unpredictability.

Is there another game? No, of course not. You’ve always been the one for me, Champy. I’m not going to go off with the first game that flashes me a nice set of bump-mapped polygons. It’s what’s inside that counts. Up to now, you’ve proved this point. You’re so complex, so difficult to work out, and you’re the best there is. There is nothing out there that even gets near to you. You know this, I know this. After all these years, you are still the best, don’t ever forget that. I just need something new. There’s nothing around that can provide that at the moment, but I just have a feeling in my gut that there’s something around the corner. Something that can provide me with what I need. Something that can give me a brand new experience, something that can excite me the way you used back in the olden days. This game isn’t here yet, I don’t know when it will appear, but I know that at some point it will. And I know that it will satisfy me. I simply see no need in staying in relationship that has grown stale. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but we’ve been slowly growing further apart over the course of the last few years. I think it’s best if we can just cut our losses and move on.

I’ve been in limbo for a long time about this. You still provide the most enriching game experience in the world, and I love spending time with you. It’s just that this has been playing on my mind for so long. Having finally put it all down into words I feel almost cleansed. It’s as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel free. I’m so, so sorry to have to do this. But I feel that it’s the best for both of us. I’m hurting inside, and I’m sure you are too. However deep down, I know that you know I’m right. It’s just been the same old thing for much too long. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to cope without you. I’m hoping for a clean break, but it’s never that simple, is it? I’ve met your family and get on with them well. Your Mum, SI. Your Dad, Eidos. We’re close, it’s going to be hard to cut them out from my life. I know I never really got on well with your little sister, CM Quiz, but she was special in her own little way. Such a simple child, yet still holds the trademark CM addictiveness. I’m sorry Champ, I feel so guilty. But it has to be a fresh start. A new era.

I hope with all my heart that we can remain friends. I’m sure that we’ll meet again in the future.

Stay strong,

Chris

xxx

I'd be intrigued as to whether 'Chris' returned to Champ once it got a 2D, and now 3D, engine, and also got hooked up with the internet. I guess we'll never know.

I'm so happy that he didn't sneeze

2009-07-29T13:35:00.001+01:00

What's the most famous speech in the world? I'm sure for a lot of people the answer comes back "I have a dream", or "Martin Luther King". And so when I saw that my Dad had been given the book 'Speeches that changed the world' as a present, it was to the speech of said title that I headed straight to. Reading it through it's very powerful, very encouraging, but having had it on my wall for the last three years at uni I know it fairly well now. But what I wasn't aware of was the speech he gave four and a half years later, in Memphis, Tennesee.

He starts with a story of how he was stabbed by "a demented black woman" whist autographing books, and relays how the knife was so close to his aorta that the New York Times, on reporting the incident, said that if he had sneezed he would have died. A few days later, able to read through some of the post he had received, one letter strikes him, one he'll never forget. It's a short, straightforward letter, but it is from a young white girl, ninth grade (age 14-15), who has heard of his misfortune, and she says she is "simply writing to say that I'm so happy you didn't sneeze". He goes on to say that he too is happy he didn't sneeze, listing all the things that have happened, all that he would have missed, and that might never have happened had he died.

And it's at this point he conveys how his life has been threatened many times, how even that morning as he flew, the plane was guarded all night beforehand and comprehensively searched and checked, how more threats have been made and questions raised about what people might try to do to him in the coming days and months. And his final paragraph is stunning, absolutely stunning, and had me in tears:

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

The following day, 4 April 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed by a sniper's bullet whilst standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennesee.

What a faith, what an example, what a challenge. Is this what it means to be a Christian dying to oneself and living for Christ?

And how gracious a God, to keep him from death until he was ready, to remove that fear and to replace it with that contentment, with that joy. And I know one day I'll be at the Promised Land with him, and see the glory of the Lord forever.

Above is a video of the final paragraph, and there is also a FULL transcript - see the last seven paragraphs for what I read in the book.

Community spirit

2009-07-25T01:14:00.001+01:00

Looking at one of the free papers lying around the house, the front of the Sentinel caught my eye. A nice friendly picture of lots of people outside a few houses with the caption 'Good neighbours'. A close in Worthing where people had got together, closed the road and staged a street party to 'celebrate the area's community spirit'.

Turning to the story on the inside, it was good to read about 'Big Lunch', a nationwide project to get neighbours across the country sitting down together. The pictures are great and demonstrate something that I think deep down a lot of people long for. It just so often seems so hard to get to! Something that looks so hard for us to achieve that it seems the effort isn't worth it. But from the smiles on the people's faces (well, except for the older guy at the front of the photo below!) it looks as though it is worth it.

It also reminded me of conversations I've had with my elderly next door neighbour. Being an atheist, he attached more significance to the solstices than to Christmas and Easter, and I remember that he said he'd like to see people walking through the streets on winter solstice together, and also wanted to see more street parties and people being community together. He went into hospital a few weeks ago, and at that time I was reminded of this desire he had expressed. I wondered whether, if he got better, as a few of us neighbours had been going to see him for a while before he even entered hospital, it might be good to have a BBQ or picnic, just to for him to experience what he longed for. Alas, last week he moved to St. Barnabas House, a hospice in Worthing, told he's not going to walk again. Seeing him tonight, unfortunately it seems he probably doesn't have long left at all. Having got to know him this last 18 months, it's reemphasised in my mind, that there are people nearby who are lonely, as he has been since his best friend, who he cared for at home for about a decade, died about two years ago. We don't know how long people will be around, and with him there was a sense that I got too know him too late to really make that strong a friendship.

As I said, he is an atheist, which means something at my very core is starkly different from how it is with him. And yet we seem to have such similar desires in many respects. I really want to explore what community is, to see neighbourhoods transformed and for people to grow together and to discover more of how life is supposed to be. I don't think this is just some massive coincidence, I believe it's because deep down we have an inbuilt desire to live in community, to have relationship. Whilst there is a part of us that is selfish and greedy, at our core we long to be relational. I believe that is because we are made in the likeness of God. God, although one, has been in community since before time began. The father, the son, the spirit, entwined in relationship, in a communion with each another. And so, for mankind, formed by Him in His image, that longing is there, waiting to be fulfilled. I want to experience it, to be a part of it, and I hope that I will continue to find it, in whatever shape and size, throughout this lifetime and into the next!

Who is generous?

2009-07-18T19:41:00.001+01:00

I was looking on Google for information about the world's most generous philanthropists and came across an interesting blog article.

It throws up some questions I've thought about and wrestled with about pure generosity (for generosity's sake) versus doing it to look good in front of others, and also about how the small giving of some is much more generous than the large amounts from others.

Newquay

2009-07-18T19:26:00.000+01:00

As I mentioned, I got back from Newquay on Thursday night. Was a really enjoyable time. Relaxing, away from it all, and spending time with friends. Lots of beautiful views, we generally had great weather (or at least relative to the forecasts), except when putting up and taking down the tents! Here is a picture I took whilst on the beach at 'Lusty Glaze'...

I've already done a couple of posts (much more regular than in recent months), and will look to keep posting things and to get back into blogging.

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

2009-07-17T23:57:00.001+01:00

I've been on holiday in Newquay this week, and whilst we were there my friend Vicky played a piece of music that was as challenging as it was catchy, and the voice delivering it was instantly recognisable. Unaware of 'Man in the Mirror', it was great to hear it for the first time:

The (condensed) lyrics are:

I'm Gonna Make A Change,

For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right.

As I Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind,
Pretending Not To See Their Needs?
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go.
That's Why I Want You To Know:

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror.
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways.
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer.
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place,
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change.

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love,
It's Time That I Realize,

That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan.
Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,

Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream.
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See.
Cause They Got No Place To Be,
That's Why I'm Starting With Me.

I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
Just Lift Yourself You Know You've Got To Stop It Yourself!
I've Got To Make That Change, Today!
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
You Know-I've Got To Get That Man, That Man . . .
You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
Stand Up And Lift Yourself, Now!
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
You Know It!
Make That Change.

I don't know what Michael Jackson did during his life, but my sneaking suspicion is that a man who was abused by his father, thrust into the limelight at the age of six, under constant pressure to do better, to be who his family, producers, fans, and whoever else wanted him to be, is not going to live a happy and contented life. This man did not have a childhood. I doubt whether he ever felt truly loved. This song captures his simplistic, childlike ideals of wanting to make a change, wanting to see a better world; something crushed out of most people by the time they reach their 20s.

He named his house Neverland. He had a train, which he named after his mother. He had sleepovers with kids. He enjoyed going to the zoo and made friends with the animals. He made mistakes, often unaware of the dangers in life. He loved to sing and to make people happy. In other words, he was a 10-year old. I don't think (and whilst I've not got any real knowledge, it seems pretty obvious to me) there's anything more sinister to it than that (and apparently a mental health professional thought so too). Whilst I'm sure he was mainly trying to be nice, I believe that Reverend Al Sharpton was right when he said "There wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. What was strange was what your daddy had to deal with.".

And so, returning to the song - I want to see change. I want to see childlike dreams and ambitions realised, to see people imagining what the world could be like, not seeing the current limitations, and to just get on with it. And so for that to happen it's got to start somewhere, and it's gonna start with 'the man in the mirror'.

Salvation is Free

2009-07-17T22:23:00.001+01:00

I searched for Salvation in YouTube (as you do when you're bored and looking for videos to do with the Salvation Army), and came across this song with fascinating lyrics...

These are the lyrics:

To all those people doing lines:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Inject your soul with liberty;
It's free, it's free.

To all the kids with heroin eyes:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Cos it's not, not what it seems,
No it's not, not what it seems.

Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.
Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.

To all the parents with sleepless nights:
Tie your kids on to their beds,
Clean their heads.

To all the kids with heroin eyes:
Don't do it, don't do it.
Cos it's not, not what it seems,
No it's not, not what it seems.

Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.
Salvation, Salvation, Salvation is free.

-------------------------------------------------

As The Salvation Army (and as Christians in general), we need to get a message out, and whilst hopefully we're not saying "don't do this, don't do that" to everyone, it's really important that we point out that the thing people are looking for is out there if you look in the right place, and is so much more fulfilling and satisfying than anyone could imagine, much much better than any drug.

And best of all, it's free!

What makes a Christian weak or strong?

2009-06-10T12:32:00.004+01:00

My friend Steve has posted something interesting about the Sabbath and how we observe it, and I had a chat with him the other week about it too. It has baffled me for a while as to why people seem to forget that commandment, but at the same time it's odd that whilst the Sabbath is the Saturday, we see it as Sunday - so can we see it as the same thing, or perhaps we should hold both of them?

This is an extended reply to his post, so have a look at his post first to see what he has written and the background to what was said at the Christian Union meeting to spark this.

---------------------------------------------------

It's an interesting and important issue, but I think the main thing is that people give it due consideration, prayer and study of the Bible and choose something that is right in their conscience after this. I don't know what I feel entirely, given that I grew up with the same opinions, forced on me to some extent but also felt by me, and I still held these until probably 18 months ago and do to some degree now.

I think it is important to dedicate a day to God and to rest and to help others to rest too. I know it's not particularly British to help others and that we should all live as individuals and get on with our own lives, but I do feel a responsibility to help others lead a good life, and I believe others need rest too. Not many really want to work on a Sunday so is me going shopping really helping them if it increases demand and thus pressure from their employers to work? I had to work Sundays for a while when I really didn't want to, even though I got extra pay, but felt I had to in case I didn't look committed.

On the other hand I've had people come to Church who it would be great to have a chat with afterwards and make them feel welcome, and it may not be suitable or easy to invite them home, so as Wetherspoons is round the corner I can go there with them and buy them a drink or meal. This is vastly different to being so lazy and absent minded as to not buy food the previous day and prepare food then (although admitadely on said Sunday I was also in Sainsburys - my defence was the Summer Ball although it's not a great excuse!).

So I think the key things are these:

1) As it implies in Mark 2:23-27, I think you have to be pragmatic and do whatever you feels brings glory to God and is beneficial to those in need, without using it as an excuse.

2) Being weak and being strong is, I feel, about how you come to your decision rather than the decision itself.

I think legalism implies that you hold to your views because it's what your tradition is, perhaps passed down by your parents, or your Church, or assumed through a vary narrow and shallow reading of scripture. I think the contrasting view is not liberalism, but more to do with people who have studied scripture, gone deeper, and seen what is at the heart of the matter and made their decision based on this. Perhaps Paul has deemed that anyone who deeply studied the scriptures and who understood the gospel would come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter whether you eat meat, which I would say is accurate according to the Bible.

I think for John Risbridger to bring the Sunday thing in without a bit of explanation is a bit misleading, as it's by no means clear cut, in fact flicking through Romans, 14:5-6 seems to address this exact thing, and from my reading there isn't as clear a divide in Paul's mind with regards to this this issue as for vegetarianism. He seems to see the key part as each individual being "fully convinced in his own mind". It may even be that in different circumstances on different occasions that a different conclusion is reached on whether to buy, work, play, etc., as long as that decision is honourable and pleasing to God.

So I guess if you don't do things on Sundays because it's what you've been told to do I would see you as weak. However if you start buying things on Sunday (or more specifically if you refrain from having a separate day of rest for you and others) just because you find it easier not to, then you are just as weak, if not more so.

However, a 'strong' individual will study and pray and seek an answer which he can make with a clear conscience and about which he would be able to stand before God and not feel ashamed. Lets face it, there will probably be a lot of Sundays/Saturdays/Sabbaths before we die, God willing, so I think it is worth giving this a lot of thought and seeking God's will, and then putting that into action in how we live.

Why get baptised?

2009-06-06T17:12:00.000+01:00

I'm getting baptised tomorrow and whilst it will be a great occasion, it's not something to be taken lightly. Through baptism I'm signalling that I have died to my old 'self' (a concept that was central to why I started this blog) and been reborn through the power of God to follow Christ and live my life as he would have me. I'll write in the next few days of my personal reasons for baptism, but this post, if a little long (it's worth it I promise...), should give some food for thought about the general role of baptism. I want it to be clear that I'm not doing this to be controversial in the Salvation Army (SA) (and indeed I believe a fair few people in the SA have been baptised), it is something I really feel I should do and want to do, but I do believe it raises important questions for the SA.

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The topic of baptism seems to raise so many dilemmas for different people and has caused a lot of division. In general, the Catholic and Anglican Churches seem to go for infant baptism (or Christening), whilst Baptists, Reformed and 'Free' Churches tend to go for adult ones. The logic for child baptism would seem to be that you wish to dedicate your child to God when they are young, and there could be arguably some backing for this in the Bible. Adult baptism seems more consistent and repeatedly implied throughout the New Testament (or more specifically those that are of an age to make their own conscious decision). The former also seem to go for drawing a cross on the forehead whilst the latter for full immersion (plunging the whole body into water).

The SA on the other hand don't do it at all (although are not, officially, against it). From what I have gleaned, the main reason for this seems to be that when the SA started (1865 in it's original form), it's membership drew from a variety of denominations, full of people who wanted to take the good news of Christ Jesus to those on the margins of society that had been forgotten by the wider Church. As there would have been disagreements amongst the members how baptism should be performed, this may have led to some friction, and so in 1883 William Booth wrote, suggesting: "is it not wise for us to postpone any settlement of the question, to leave it over to some future day, when we shall have more light, and see more clearly our way before us?" (see article mentioned in final paragraph). However, that day seems not to have arrived, or at least there seems to have been no point at which a serious, open discussion has occurred that has focused on Christ and put aside tradition and considered what is the best thing we can do as a movement, forgetting our pride and asking what is God's desire.

As you may well tell from how I write, and also given that I have made this decision, I feel baptism is right and is important. I feel glad to make this decision, and the fact I have come from this background has actually been extremely beneficial as I have been able to consider the special significance of baptism, rather than just seeing it as the natural 'next step'. I started seriously considering it maybe 18 months/2 years ago, challenged by how uni friends took it for granted and how I could really give no reason why I didn't, other than that it wasn't really the Salvation Army's thing. I couldn't really say the SA don't do symbolism, as they wear uniforms. Saying that we have 'Soldiership' which is equivalent almost seemed like I'd be saying "yeah I know Jesus made this suggestion but we've had a think and decided that William Booth's idea about the whole soldier thing just sounds a lot better". Again, it just seems like tradition getting in the way of the commands of God.

At the time of thinking this I was increasingly aware of the concept of Gnosticism which had invaded some parts of the early Church, where people thought the body was bad and the spirit good. This was rebuffed by early Christians who said that God made the whole human being good; spirit, soul AND body. I therefore figured that if God made us both spiritual and physical beings, then the things we relate with we look at in both a spiritual and physical context and meaning. Therefore it makes sense that we associate with some physical things in a spiritual way, sometimes in a bad way (idol worship, obsession around cars, money, etc.) but often in a good way (such as emotions experienced through photographs of people and places, or, for Christians, using the picture of the cross to help contemplate Christ). As God created us surely he knows we have these tendencies, and in fact wanted us to be like this, and so it seems logical that he would give us physical things to help us spiritually. He used the rainbow as a symbol of a promise, gave the Israelites the temple to symbolise the importance of God, and time and time again promise a sign to signify and confirm something spiritual. So it makes sense that when Christ wanted his followers to remember why he was to die he gave them the reminder of bread and wine, which was shown to be powerful in opening the followers eyes when they forgot that his death was planned. He also knew that people may judge Christians on their own works rather than what Christ has done, so by giving the sign of baptism they had something that was rooted in the death of Christ, rather than anything to do with human effort. Perhaps he knew that the SA would make uniforms for themselves and become soldiers, something that whilst obviously rooted in a decision to follow Christ, has so much more added to it and significance that is often more to do with the individual's actions than the work of God.

It was both a relief (as it showed I wasn't crazy) but also a slight annoyance (that someone else had written something that I thought I was the first to think of) to read an article by Chick Yuill about this very topic and with similar explanation. A controversial figure in the SA, but someone who not only seems to have a solid grounding in the Bible but is also a very good speaker, Chick writes engagingly, and I encourage 'Salvationists' to read it through and seriously consider it (and have a look through the Rubicon website more generally), but others too should give it a read and maybe help them think afresh why it is that baptism is, and should be, held so dear.

If being a Christian was like taking a degree, how would we be assessed?

2009-05-17T22:51:00.000+01:00

Sitting in the sermon today, and with exams at the back of my mind, the word knowledge came up, about how knowledge isn't everything, and it got me thinking about how we often consider knowledge to be the be all and end all. In our exams we look to get by by reproducing what we know in the hope that it will impress the marker. But how are we assessed as Christians? I guess this is a bit abstract and possibly a bit daft, but it did get me thinking.

Is it like an exam? Well, God isn't going to test us on how many things we know when we get to judgement day, wanting a list of all the books in the Bible, of all the laws in Leviticus or how many 'his love endures forever's there are in Psalm 136. However, we know that life is a test that presents trials. James 1:12 tells us that those that are tested and persevere will receive the crown of life.

Do we have coursework that we are assessed on? People often have this mental picture of St. Peter standing at the pearly gates weighing up the good and bad things we've done in our life and deciding who goes in. From speaking to Muslims this appears to be an Islamic belief, plus unfortunately I'm sure there are many people that profess to be Christians that hold this view too. This implies that we have some coursework of being good and sticking to the rules and we are assessed on that at the end of our life. However, Romans 11:5-6 says that we are not saved by works but by the grace of God, whilst Galatians 3:10-14 makes it clear that we cannot by saved by keeping the law, simply because no one is able to(!), and instead it is through what Christ has done. However, we do have 'coursework', in the sense that we will be assessed on how we respond to those in need.

Presentation some times creeps into our assessments, and Paul says, in an illustration about husbands and wives, that Christ presents the Church (i.e. Christians) as holy and blameless. Oral exams are in there too, and we are told that if we confess with our mouth that "Jesus is Lord" we shall be saved.

This has probably created more confusion than made things simpler, but at the end of the day, I think John 3:16-18 says it well - that we all deserve to be condemned to a 'fail' grade, but through putting our faith in Christ, who was offered as a substitute in our place, we are saved and pass wth first class honours!

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst."

2009-05-12T10:06:00.003+01:00

Not enough time to write a decent blog, exams are hectic. Only two more to go and then uni is over.

Saw this on the BBC Sport website (I know I shouldn't be on here but I had an exam yesterday so I'm having an hour off this morning...); Harry Redknapp with some insightfulness. Having been at university for four years and, well, generally living and seeing people, I can testify to the concluding statement.

When will people realise they don't need alcohol? They need something that will make them never thirst again!

Bradford and Leeds week - the East End Park community

2009-04-12T22:19:00.000+01:00

After Saturday off it came to my final day in Yorkshire, and it was great to be able to meet up with Andrew Grinnell. It was through a lot of what he said at Roots last year that my thoughts came together about this, well, desire to serve the poor I guess. His Forgotten 5% presentations about the work of NEO Salvation Army centres in particular (an area of ministry for which he has overall control), demonstrated the stark need of many areas and pulled at my desires and many of the things I had been thinking about during my time in south London.

We met for a chat and a coffee and then headed back to his local area, East End Park, which apparently is in the bottom 7% of areas in the UK as measured by the Indices of Multiple Depravation. If it's that high I wouldn’t like to see those places below it. Row after row of back-to-back housing, which, to give a picture, unless you're at the end of the terrace then you're surrounded by three houses. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure you could fit about least three of these houses in my back garden. Windows boarded up, metal grids on most windows and doors, unswept streets and nowhere for anyone to play except for where a few houses had been knocked down.

One girl we passed was a friend of Andrew’s daughter and was sitting outside playing with a few friends. He told me how his daughter was shocked going round her house and discovering she had no toys, and set about trying to get her some. The starkest thing for me was seeing one boy walking through a field on his own, wearing, on Easter Sunday, his school uniform. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but if someone has to wear their school uniform in the middle of the holidays then just how little must that family have?

We spoke about the possibility of me going there myself next year, and it seemed like it wasn’t necessarily the best option, but still a possibility. If nothing else it was good to have an idea of just how stark poverty can be in the UK. As Andrew said to me it’s nothing when compared to Africa, but when you see the relative luxury we have in many parts of the UK, it really does beggar belief how places like this can exist. I really pray that Andrew and the other Christians living in the community can bring the light of God into such a dark place and that He will be glorified on that estate.

Bradford and Leeds week - Holme Christian Community (Good Friday)

2009-04-12T21:45:00.002+01:00

Good Friday night quite a few people from the surrounding area crowded into HCC for worship and to be reminded of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Worship was slightly strange as although there were two singers and a flautist, we all sang along to a worship music CD. This was all fine, but was particularly interesting when we got to the instrumentals...

At one point the pastor produced a wooden cross and some broken pieces of porcelain and the members of the congregation were asked to each stick a piece on (it was covered in grouting in case you’re wondering), symbolising our brokenness being paid for on the cross. He tried to bribe us into going to the Easter Sunday 6AM service by saying we could see what it turned into – I wasn’t able to go but Caroline did and said he didn’t bring it! Hopefully he took it to the breakfast! Either way, the idea was to spray it gold, presumably to demonstrate how God takes our brokenness on the cross, and through that sacrifice God is glorified and we are made beautiful in His eyes. Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Caroline gave the sermon, which had two main points. The first was that we all share the one Christ, we all serve him, he died for all of us who believe. As the curtain was torn in two when Christ died, this symbolised us having access to God, something previously reserved for the holiest of Priests. Secondly, it illustrated the upside-down kingdom, where the first is last and the last is first. Christ came to serve and not to be served. He turned the ideas of the world on it’s head. I guess this is what is meant by the fact the cross is foolishness to many. The cross, therefore, turns darkness to light, death to life and punishment to freedom. And we are offered that, such light, such life, such freedom.

Bradford and Leeds week - Caleb

2009-04-12T21:00:00.002+01:00

Good Friday’s outing was to a cafe which runs every Friday and is for people at various stages of giving up drink and/or drugs. Throughout the week Caleb offers community rehabilitation to a group of people that are signed up, helping them through the trials they come across. Using the 12.5 steps project (like the 12 steps process used by AA but with a forgiving others section in it), they take step after step towards being free from addiction. Chatting to the guys there, it was refreshing to see just how normal so many of them are, how they were easy to chat to, friendly and not in my mind any kind of second class citizen. Quite a few of the volunteers there had been through the system themselves and were now wanting to give something back. The woman who showed me round said she’d been free of heroin and alcohol for quite a while now, but that coming along still and volunteering were really important as it is often the boredom and lack of anything to replace the previous routine that leads to lapses. It was just so good to see how many people really enjoyed coming along, and how many people want to help out those who’d been through the same as they had.

It was made even better by the fact I won a game of dominoes, plus a bit of Easter card making was great for me to give something to Caroline and Craig as part of a thank you for having me. It was also great to see guys who might often feel they don’t have much to give their kids and relatives something, being able to create something of their own in the hope of showing a bit of love to their dearest. Have a read through some of the testimonies - it'll make you day.

Bradford and Leeds week - St. Christopher's (Maundy Thursday)

2009-04-12T20:34:00.001+01:00

Maundy Thursday evening there was a service at one of the churches on the estate, the Anglican church St Christopher’s. We started off with a meal, lamb stew (we were thinking about Passover so it was the obvious choice...), which allowed me to meet some of the locals, and a very pleasant bunch too. We heard a few Bible readings amongst this, and then were invited to take a piece of paper and write down a list of things we wanted to get rid of in our life. Going outside, we got into groups and constructed a cross out of two sticks and some nails, nailed our lists to the cross and put them on a bonfire in the Church garden. Moving inside we had a time of worship (which included half way through a song the room being filled with a piercingly high and loud noise, followed by the whole room in silence staring at the girl sitting near the sound desk and one woman just saying “which one did you press, which one?”).

This was a really great time just to sit and reflect on the things I want to get rid of in my life. However my list always seems to be the same, full of things I say I want to get rid of but clearly never really try. I say I want to be punctual, decisive, spending more time with God praying and studying the Bible, but I don’t actually do it. If I want to be a dying Christian and take up my cross, I’ve just got to get on with it. If I hold on to these things then Christ won’t take them away. I need to cling to Christ and the cross, not to my past.

Bradford and Leeds week - RETAS

2009-04-12T19:55:00.000+01:00

My second journey after the interview was to RETAS (Refugee Education Training Advisory Service), based in the Harehills area of Leeds. RETAS work with asylum seekers and refugees, and in the short time I was there I certainly felt as though I learnt a lot. 'Asylum seeker' is a term given to someone who comes to the UK because they are wanting to stay here to escape something back home. They are given a certain amount of time in which to prove their case and justify why they should stay and thus become a kind of quasi-citizen in the form of a refugee. Refugees are given the legal status of a citizen when they are allowed to stay on the basis that if they returned home they would be persecuted in some form – i.e. they are seeking refuge from harm. However, in the meantime asylum seekers have fewer rights and find it hard to get by, not matter how hard they try and how willing they are. Even for refugees this can be hard and in part is due to myths and negative persceptions held by potential employers.

Some of the volunteers from the centre

I was shown round by and chatted with Duncan, who was one of the original Transformers (i.e. on the inaugural Transform year – he can’t turn into a car or plane or anything like that). It was great to see the passion he had and hear about how lives had been changed through their work. Whilst they’re not explicit about their faith, the majority of workers are Christians and they offer to pray when appropriate, and so their Christian ethos really shines through and makes a difference. They offer computer training, language classes, and training in other areas that are of help, as well as helping clients to find jobs. I’m sure it’s something that, even if I don't do it for a placement, I would want to keep in touch with and recommend to others, to see some of the most vulnerable people in the UK have their lives changed.

Bradford and Leeds week - West Yorkshire Community Chaplaincy Project

2009-04-12T19:15:00.000+01:00

After my interview on Thursday I was taken around Leeds to see a few possible placements. The West Yorkshire Community Chaplaincy Project (WYCCP) is a multi-faith charity that works with individuals leaving HMP Leeds (which accepts all adult male prisoners from West Yorkshire) in Armley, with the aim of reducing re-offending rates, and was our first port of call. They provide prison leavers with support and advice, for example with debt and finance (many leave with nothing), and are general helped to integrate back into society.

If you think about it, there are some guys that may have been in prison for years and years, and even those who’ve been in a couple of years may feel very out of touch and as though they’ve lost a lot of time. Helping them to fit back into society, encouraging them and enabling them to feel more confident about their prospects are all important things and so it was great to hear about this ministry and all it does.

Bradford and Leeds week - Transform (the interview)

2009-04-12T18:50:00.002+01:00

Arriving at Leeds station Thursday lunchtime I was picked up and taken to Fred Shed, where a variety of Christian organisations are based. After a little wait I had my interview for the Transform programme. The programme consists of training on Monday (including theology, team time and practical training too), a 15-hour placement, a 5-hour place, a part-time job and a mentor.

It’s been quite a while since I had an interview, in fact I’ve only had four in my life. My first was a Marks and Spencer telephone interview, which I failed (how am I supposed to know what you do if someone comes in with a faulty item and has no receipt – surely that’s what training is for?!?). Then there was my Wilkinson interview which basically consisted of “do you want the job?” and checking I didn’t have a criminal record. So the only two proper interviews I’ve had were for Bank of England and HM Treasury, which both went well, but I was still a bit apprehensive as it’d been a while, but figured I’d just be honest and hope I didn’t put my foot in it. The first question was something along the lines of “how do you feel you have developed over last year”, and after about 5 minutes (at least) of chatting I decided I’d better stop...

The whole interview was generally pretty relaxed, as they’re ‘on your side’ as it were. Their aim is to assess whether it is the right thing for you, and if that’s the case then it’s probably the right thing for them, as it means you’ll make the best use of their funding. This made it fairly easy just to be open and honest and it was really encouraging just to chat through ideas and expectations, and to be able to ask them a few questions too.

One question that was very thought-provoking was when I was asked whether I found it easier to relate to people on the margins than the middle classes. Thinking about it I guess I do. I suppose I find a lot of people, including Christians, are very closed and ask very questions about the things around them, let alone of themselves and what they believe. People you might describe as 'marginalised' seem altogether more raw, open, honest, and have a vulnerability about them once you get to know them beyond their sometimes strong front. There is a depth, a story, which I think I can appreciate more, a sense in which I can see a way out for this person, that even if they don't know exactly what they're doing wrong, they know something needs to change. Contrast this with the middle-class independence and individualism which always says "I am right", "there's nothing wrong with me", "as long as I keep myself to myself that's all that matters", an attitude that really just wants me to bang my head against the wall. I think that's a question that I'm going to keep exploring for some time yet.

On Friday night I got an answer phone message to say that I’d been accepted, so it’s now just up for me to decide for certain whether to do it, which looks likely, and then to sort out the location and placements. It's all looking pretty exciting.

What is information?

2009-04-12T00:35:00.005+01:00

Found this interesting video on this blog.

There are even more distinctions that can be made. Data on its own is nothing, but when transformed to mean something creates information. This information must be considered and interpreted for it to become knowledge. But even knowledge is useless unless we are able to to put it into action, to understand how to use and implement it. That is true wisdom, and that is what we need.

Bradford and Leeds week - erm... Newark

2009-04-10T22:24:00.000+01:00

OK, so it's not exactly Bradford and Leeds (in fact it's over an hour and a half away on the train), but it's in 'the North' (as it is so helpfully signposted on motorways) so I thought I'd take the chance to go and have a look. The Salvation Army in Newark is led by more relatives, Uncle Tim and Auntie Jo (Justice), and they have been there about six years now (I think). In that time they've seen the corps grow, and they have a real focus on the things that are important. Jo herself said that they've tried to ensure that the focus is always on the Word and on God rather than anything periphery, which can often be the case in the Salvation Army, just as in any other church.

Tim showed me around the centre of town first of all, close to where their current hall is located. A rural market town, I was impressed by the town square, surrounded by trendy coffee bars and independent sandwich shops, with the market stalls in action and the spire of the Anglican church towering over. Apparently lots of civil war stuff happened here too, but that was before my time...

Currently, whilst their hall is the base for weekday things, their Sunday meetings happen round the corner in a local school hall. They also have a charity shop in an estate a little way out on an apparently-deserted parade of shops, but it brings in a healthy stream of income so someone must be going there!

I came down because Tim had asked me about what I was doing next year and whether I had any plans. Having spoken to Jo about my ideas and dreams at Christmas time they must have wondered whether I wanted to come to Newark to help put some of those things into practice and to learn about working in a church and its surrounding community. There were so many positive things that they spoke about and the hopes and ambitions they had were really enthusing and inspiring.

They should soon be taking over a community centre (pictured above) in an estate outside the centre. which would provide another base, and could accommodate kids clubs, a luncheon club, youth work and many other activities. This would be particularly useful, not only to expand their influence on the communities in Newark, but also because they have recently sold their hall and are planning on building a new one. Moving out to a new bit of land on the outskirts in a place called Balderton, plans are in place for a brand new steel structure building with meeting hall and plenty of facilities for day-to-day activities.

Finally, I was struck by their outlined plans for the next four years, under the banner of 'Going for Gold' (tying into the 2012 theme). I won't type the whole thing up, but their key aims were to be praying, welcoming, saving, nurturing, participating and Kingdom-focused.

It was great to pray with them when I left. I don't know exactly where I'm going these next few months and years and neither do they. We can make our best plans, we need them and there's nothing wrong with them, but if they are not God's plans then they are worthless and will be fruitless. So it is my prayer that both myself and them will seek God and do his will. God bless them in all the work they are doing for Him.

*****

As you can probably tell, I've taken to putting pictures in my blog posts, which hopefully makes them a bit more exciting. So I thought I'd try and find a picture of the hall, or where the new one would be built, but having spent ages looking all I could come up with is a screenshot of Google Maps. Enjoy...

Bradford and Leeds week - Holme Christian Community

2009-04-10T11:26:00.001+01:00

Following on from my trip to CAP, I went along to Holme Christian Community (HCC), which is just down the road from where I'm staying and from the Salvation Army. HCC has an impressively varied programme of activities, with something for pretty much anyone in the community. In addition to their City Lights ministry, there's a cafe, a play centre, 'The Edge' youth club, a handyman service, training, an over-55s 'youth club', a financial advice centre, a management consultancy and an employment agency, and then you've got the church services and all that comes with that.

I was able to have a look around and get some ideas for what I could do if I moved to the area. HCC is particularly appealing because of the variety of the things they do. My annoyance with most churches is that they only really cater for under-18s and over-60s, with perhaps something for middle-aged women if you're lucky. But HCC is trying to impact everyone in their community, and that's a really great thing. It's great to see the difference they are making and to imagine the lives that have been and are being changed by God's power at work in them.

Bradford and Leeds week - Christians Against Poverty

2009-04-09T23:10:00.002+01:00

After a day off on Monday, I arose early (well, some time before 9) and went to meet someone from Christians Against Poverty (CAP). CAP was started in 1996 by John Kirkby with £10 and a lot of faith. John had not long before come to faith, riddled by debt himself, and set out trying to use the skills he had been given during his time working in financial services to see people like himself set free from the bondage of debt and sin. The organisation doesn't hide its faith-base, as their name indicates, and they offer to pray for their clients on the first meeting, plus as a local church supports each centre there is always much support for each person. Many people who come to CAP have contemplated suicide in the past and have nowhere else to turn. They help so many people out of debt and impact so many lives. What I love though is the statistic that on average five people a week become Christians as a result of their work. Five lives changed immeasurably for eternity! Probably more than they bargained for but far greater than they could have ever imagined. Praise God!

Looking around I noticed their list of core values, which make for encouraging reading. As much as I realise it's probably weird to take pictures in an office I couldn't resist (and as I've found them on the internet I assume they're not secret...). It's great to see a company with an ethos so rooted in the Bible. Not only that, but they have such great faith too, with the money required each month looking like it'll fall short, on for it to come through following times of prayer and fasting. This ministry is clearly dedicated to seeking what God wants to happen. Get hold of the book - it's free from the website.

It has been on my heart for quite a while now to see people's material needs met alongside telling them the good news, and to find ways of doing that. CAP is just one expression of that and one that I would like to be involved in at some point in the future, and at the very least is something I draw great inspiration from. May many lives be changed by all that these people do in God's strength.

*****

p.s. If you're going to try and take a covert picture of a building because you're worried that the guys sitting in the dustbin lorry might think you look a bit weird, you may have to persevere.

Bradford and Leeds week - 'City Lights'

2009-04-08T16:40:00.004+01:00

On Sunday evening I headed to Holme Christian Community (HCC) where I got on the yellow bus, which we took down to the centre of Bradford, an outreach that is known as 'City Lights'. There we met around 90 homeless or otherwise-marginalised individuals and they were given coffee and a hot meal. It also provided a great opportunity to speak to the guys being served and find out how they were doing.

Having some small talk with a few people, my first in-depth conversation was with a gentleman who must have been in his 50s or 60s. He started by saying we were angels, doing an amazing thing, and how he thought Christianity was a great thing, that God had clearly sent us to do His work. He also said he thought that people coming over from other countries should leave England as it is, that Christianity is the religion of this country and that's that. It was interesting to find out he was a Muslim and he came over from Southern Asia when he was younger. It was even more interesting when I tried to explore what he meant by all these terms and phrases. He seemed to think that not only was Christ real but that He was God, and yet when I questioned whether that made him a Christian he didn't seem to think so. We kept chatting, and I really just tried to encourage him to think about it more, tried to get across that Christianity wasn't a religion so much as a matter of putting your faith in someone and following them. I'm not entirely sure how able he was to take it all in anyway, not through substance abuse or anything like that, but he just seemed like a very nice and simple man. Just how do you explain to people that not all these 'religions' are the same, and it's not just about being nice?! But if nothing else, it was very amusing just to hear Mr. Khan every few seconds saying "God Bless you" before exclaiming "gorgeous!" every time he took a mouthful of his meal.

There was another guy I spoke to, extremely friendly, willing to chat, and I got the impression well known to people around. He said he worked at the university (similarly Mr. Khan said he had lectured - not sure how true either of these claims were), and was very interested in things to do with electrolytes, ACT, and synchronicity. I didn't really have a clue what he was talking about, but it was something to do with metaphysics I guess. When pushed he described himself as a universalist, believing that there was a God and that Jesus was "a top bloke, no doubt about it, a top bloke". I said that if I do move to Bradford in September it'd be great to continue the conversation further.

Finally, one other guy and I chatted for a fair while, and I asked him whether he had a faith, with him replying that he was a Catholic when he grew up (it seems to me that everyone was a Catholic when they grew up - or maybe that's just the homeless population). He described how his father used to beat his mum and that really meant it was impossible for him to believe. I told Him how God was just and didn't think what his Dad did was right either, and explained how we all do wrong and need a saviour, but that God has provided that saviour Himself. He seemed fairly interested and though his mates wanted to go and drink he didn't seem in a hurry, but when I pushed the point, he said himself that he just didn't feel like he hadn't done anything wrong. I guess that's how a lot of people feel. I tried to explain that all of us have done wrong, and so it wasn't just me pointing the finger at him, and I think he may have started to get it, so it's my prayer that his eyes will be opened in days to come.

It was generally just great to see the ministry that is provided, a valuable ministry I am sure, both in terms of physical nourishment and in terms of building relationships and telling people the good news. It reminded me of the urgency of telling people this news as some people just haven't heard it before. They've heard about Christianity, God, or some particular denomination, but never what it's actually all about. It's my prayer that this ministry will help to break down those barriers and let these people know how they can be set free for everlasting life.

Bradford and Leeds week - Bradford Holmewood Salvation Army

2009-04-08T15:58:00.006+01:00

Having spent Sunday morning relaxing (I'd had a whole week of Bible talks so I gave myself the morning off!), I spent an enjoyable time at Bradford Holmewood Salvation Army, which my aunt Caroline heads up, supported by my uncle Craig and 18-month year old cousin Edie, amongst others! It comes under the banner of NEO (New Expressions Of...) Salvation Army, which you can find out more about here.

Nice and chilled out on sofas, Caroline gave a talk about how we respond to Jesus in our everyday lives - are we like those praising Him on Palm Sunday, or like those denying Him later in the week or condemning Him on Good Friday? We also sung a few songs and watched a short video clip, in addition to creating a palm leaf, writing our praise on it and sticking it to the cross. It was really great to be there.

There's a lot of good stuff going on during the week at 'The Sally Bash', as it's known to the locals. Lots of youth clubs, kids clubs, and activities for the over-60s, despite having quite a small membership it is having a great impact on the community. When they arrived there was only a small gathering on a Thursday night, in addition to a reasonable community programme. In the three years since arriving they've seen the community programme expand and many different ministries are currently in place, plus the main meeting has moved to a Sunday afternoon, with Bible studies and many other things coming through. It's my prayer that their ministry will be blessed, that it'll be guided by God and be everything that he wishes it to be, that the community will be amazingly impacted by them and the other Churches nearby, to the glory of God.

Bradford and Leeds week - looking to next year

2009-04-07T17:16:00.003+01:00

Straight from New Word Alive (see my other, ongoing posts), I arrived in Bradford late on Saturday and am here until Easter Sunday thinking and praying about what I'll be doing next year. One option I have is to do a course called Transform. This is run by a group of Christians, originally based in Leeds but since expanding to include Bradford. It consists of training on Mondays (theology and practical guidance such as time management), a 5-hour placement, a 15-hour placement and a part-time job.

My interview for it is on Thursday and in addition during this week I'm taking the chance to look at different places I could do some of my placements if I do the year.

I'm also looking into an organisation called Christians Against Poverty (CAP). CAP are a debt counselling service that also offer money management courses, and whilst centrally run from their offices in Bradford most of their direct work with the people in need is done in centres around the UK that are run by and partnered with local churches. They are an explicitly Christian group, partly given their name but also through the offering of prayer on their first meeting. There's no hidden agenda, nor any need for the service users to be Christian, it's just, well, if you have faith in Christ then it'd be a bit harsh to just help someone with their earthly debts and not tell them how they can sort out their spiritual debts and be set free!

CAP offer their own internship scheme, called Reach, which sees you working Monday to Thursday with on-the-job training, and then Fridays are set aside for management-based training. There are five streams (Client, Communications, Evangelism and Discipleship, IT, and Partnership) and each offers a different challenge and opportunity to help make a difference to many people's lives. Whatever happens, it's just great to find out more about the work they do.

I'll give some updates throughout the week about how things are getting on.

Those wacky Christian Unions....

2009-04-07T16:01:00.002+01:00

Found my way onto Michael Ots' website today and had a look at what he had to say (he spoke at the Bath University Christian Union (CU) 'iDentity' week of talks in November 2008). The Lancaster University CU got a feature on their university campus TV channel, with Michael Ots getting an interview on it, alongside a clip of him giving one of the talks in their FREE week. Was great to see them doing a plug for their CU and also that the TV channel let them.

Still not sure how it looks when Christians use the word 'wacky' though. Especially considering they were referring to a film night! Oh well, at least they weren't wearing strange hats.

Great to see the work of other CUs around the country, and the commitment of people like Michael who spend their lives telling others of the good news of Jesus Christ.

New Word Alive 2009 - Serving the Church, Reaching the World

2009-04-07T15:34:00.002+01:00

It’s been a really good week at New Word Alive (NWA), in a far-off corner of Wales, with hundreds of other Christians hearing from God’s word and being challenged about the need to put it into practice.

The Bible studies focused on 1 Corinthians 1-7, looking at how we live our lives both as churches and as individuals: putting the gospel first, not lifting up leaders instead of Christ, seeking holiness in our lives as temples of God (in particular having the best approach to relationships), and understanding the effect of personal ungodliness on the wider church and the implications for dealing with it.

Meanwhile, in the evenings, in addition to sung worship lead by Stuart Townend and Phatfish (see above), we looked at some key parables from Luke’s gospel: the sower; the good Samaritan; the banquet; the lost son; the rich man and Lazarus; and the ten minas. In my view there seemed to be a strong emphasis on the outworking of our faith (sometimes labelled 'social action'), particularly directed to 'the poor', which perhaps isn't expected of a 'conservative evangelical' conference, but it was handled Biblically and challenged a lot of people.

There was also a great variety of seminars with something for everyone, and also a very excitable Roger Carswell! Adrian Warnock led a session about blogging so I thought I'd go along, and there were some useful tips, plus it was good to hear about other people's approaches to forming and maintaining a blog (see Adrian's blog for more thoughts on NWA).

The speaking was overall very powerful and challenging and definitely worth the trip, plus I was greatly enthused by the sense that evangelicals were seeking to unite and to focus on the cross rather than surrounding issues. It was also great to spend time with friends (including some stupidly late nights) and I even found some time to do a little bit of work!

Over the next few weeks I'll write up a few things I've learnt from the week, so stay tuned if you want to find out more.

Daylight robbery! (OK, that's the wrong phrase...)

2009-03-28T22:35:00.000Z

I've just found out that the clocks go forward tonight - not happy!

Is it the case that to know these things you have to watch TV or listen to the radio? Maybe our clocks should automatically correct so when we wake up no-one realises what's happened, think everything's gone on as normal, and then spend the next few days wondering why we all feel so tired. Maybe whoever's in charge could mix it about a bit and there'd be a sweepstake on when it's going to happen? If they just announced that we're no longer changing the clocks and went for this new secretive method I think it could work. Then one day someone would find out (although who is really awake at 1 in the morning who wouldn't be able to shrug it off as a drunken lapse - "I could have swarn it was 5-to-1 a minute ago. Oh well....").

Seriously though, can't we get a letter from the Met Office or Gordon Brown or someone just to let us know in case it slips past. I could have been late for Church (well - later...). Maybe in this day and age we could get a note from Twitter (I don't really know what this is to be honest) or a message on Facebook, just to let us know. One day...

This week I'm off to New Word Alive in Wales (hence the need for sleep) which should prove to be a refreshing, challenging and strengthening week. I'll aim to feed back some thoughts on my return. I'm straight off to Bradford from Wales to sort out things for next year, including an interview for Transform and hopefully a meeting with someone from Christians Against Poverty, and then back home to Worthing to see the family.

Hope you all have a great and meaningful Easter.

Someone with something interesting to say

2009-03-12T04:00:00.000Z

After the Revelators gig (and hence why I got back so late) I chatted with a guy, Antun, who really had passion as he spoke, something really invigorating. He started off chatting to Marstin, telling him how distinct his sound was, how he should be pushing forward and trying to get on to bigger things, convinced of his talent. I carried on talking to Antun once Marstin had gone, and as we chatted, it became one of those conversations I wished I could record as he would reveal interesting insights one after another. He's a Croatian Chemistry PhD student, but his intelligence and interests expanded beyond this. With Marstin having pointed to God in their conversation as his source of musical uniqueness (his 'fingerprint', as Antun put it), faith was then brought up in our conversation too. We spoke at length about faith and religion, and whilst I got the impression he wasn't a Christian, and that he'd got the wrong (but understandable) picture about Christianity, some of the things he said really got me thinking.

He spoke of how you might be driving along following the GPS and knowing where you are supposed to go, following the directions you are told. But then sometimes you have to stop and think, "Is this right? Is this where I want to go?". Sometimes you have to question. Perhaps we go through life following the pattern of this world, doing what is expected of us and never thinking we might 'swim against the stream' (as Marstin might say!). Then we have to reconsider, is this where I want to be going, is it getting me where I really want to be, do I even know where I want to be, and how would I get there?

He spoke to about how many people try to be like God, and how this is what Christianity is about. I thought this sounded like trying to earn your way into heaven, and so was keen to refute this, but as I thought about it, it struck me that, yes, I do want to be like God, to be like Christ. He's my example, the one person we should measure ourselves against, as much as we'll never measure up. He elaborated, saying how we're all going at different angles, some going directly down, far from God towards the evil one, others apathetic and just going along flat. Others still go at a slight angle, trying lamely to get to God, whilst others try harder and harder still, until, perhaps, one day we're going straight up, to be just like Him. Of course, we'll never achieve that, but I want to keep trying.

Finally, he spoke about how when comparing Islam and Christianity, he felt that one was about finding power, whilst the other about finding hope. Whilst I won't comment on Islam, it struck me that he had hit the nail on the head with Christianity. You see often we struggle through life, trying to find some new way of getting by, but everything falters and our hopes are left dashed. Christ however offers us that true, everlasting hope, that we can and will be saved, if we just put our faith in Him. I'm so thankful that I can know for certain that "my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness" - and what a solid foundation that is.

Revelated

2009-03-12T03:06:00.001Z

I've just got back from Student Battle of the Bands at Moles tonight, and in particular I went to see my friends play, guys who go by the name of 'Marstin and the Revelators'. Marstin is from the Faroe Islands, and came to my Church in October, and after going out for lunch that day we kept in touch and, finding out they were going to play at Revs in an acoustic Battle of the Bands, I went along. You're kind of in that place where you think "What if they actually really aren't that good?". It's bad enough when you're friends, but when you've just met them it makes it ten times worse - "what will I say to them when they come off and they've completely bombed?"

That evening however, I was greatly relieved when they started performing, and, well, performing is the key word. Marstin is pretty quiet when one to one but on stage he lights up, almost taking on a different persona, making gestures, taking on very dangerous pitches, and generally just having a whale (which coincidentally is a Faroese delicacy...) of a time. This is very high-risk. Do this half-heartedly and it falls flat on its face, but put all your energy into it and you end up with a sound that makes you distinct, a cut above in a world of 'good but not that different' indie/rock/acoustic bands. The crowd went with it, singing along and even participating (oh yes, there is much crowd participation in a Revelators set), and in the end the judges did too. Indeed, they went with it too a few weeks later, when they won the final.

Tonight they won their heat hands down too, and with the final in two weeks time (25th March) I encourage you to get down there and check them out. In the meantime, have a look around their MySpace and Facebook pages, and soon you'll be whistling the amazingly addictive riff from 'The Salmon Song', singing such classic lines as "I killed the lion and the bear", and screeching the soon-to-be-famous exclamation "pumpkin pie!".

Chris Heward: Late and Indecisive?

2009-02-28T18:33:00.005Z

Have been meaning to write for ages. Anyway...

A couple of thoughts about my shortcomings, which have come to light once again in the last 24 hours.

My first is about not making decisions. Whilst this is often motivated from not wanting to make bad choices, I do still have to make them from time to time and hope they are the best. After finding out my housemate had planned a birthday trip to Komedia, to see Russell Howard in action, I was pretty slow off the mark. At first I wasn't sure if I'd be around, but even after that there was still time for me to book. But a few days later I found out the Cabaret section (where he and mates were sitting) was fully booked. DOH! After confirming this, and once finding out that others were going to sit in the balcony, I decided to go anyway, and then, having walked past the store earlier today and deciding to book online, about 2 hours ago I found out that now ALL the tickets have gone. DOUBLE DOH!

My second is my lateness. I don't know whether it's because people are becoming more comfortable with me, or just because it's now been going on for so long, but increasingly people have been commenting on my lateness. Then, yesterday, I met up with someone who I hadn't seen for a while, who's living on the streets. I said that if he called me later on I could check bus/train times online and maybe help him out with a ticket (as he had said he wanted to go away for a few weeks). In the intervening period I decided it was probably best for him not to keep travelling, as he said (similarly to a few ocassions previous) that he'd go away for a few weeks and then settle down in Bath, and I figured some time he had to stop doing this. He was OK with this on the phone, but I offered instead to see if I had an old phone at home I could give him to keep in touch. All I had to do was go home and then go down the soup run, some time between 7 and 7:30. Arriving at 7:34, with no phone (it was in Worthing), he had already gone.

This guy had a pretty low self-esteem and I was the only person he really trusted. I hung around in town looking for him for a few hours, and a bit this morning too, but to no avail. He may well have moved on. And in a way I feel as though I must too, and hope he comes back, and that he forgives me, and doesn't see this as a rejection of him.

The annoying thing is, if I had only got there when I said I would, if I had only got there 5 minutes earlier, none of this would have happened.

When am I going to sort myself out?

Song for Tim

2009-01-01T13:12:00.002Z

So hear we go - humour is the order of the day. But so too is love. And so I thought I'd share with you this song that I wrote for my housemate Tim a couple of months back when I saw him studying in level three of the library as I was on my way to the toilet. It was such a pleasant surprise that I almost fell over the cleaner's bin. For those of you not in the know, it's based on a song entitled 'Beautiful Girl', by 'Flight of the Conchords'. Enjoy...

Looking round house,
I can tell that you
Are the most intelligent guy in the... downstairs bedroom.
In the downstairs bedroom.
Oooh.

And when you're in the lounge,
If Karen's not around,
I bet you are definitely in the top three
Bestest of mates in the lounge
(If there's no Soph)

And when I saw you in the library
I thought what...is...he...doing...
On Level 3
How did we get a genius like that to a library like this -
Good one Bath!!!
Ohhhh what a uni, Bath!

I asked the librarian if she's going to make a move on you,
She's not sure,
I said "lady do you mind if I do?".
She says she doesn't mind
but I can tell she kinda minds
but I'm gonna do it anyway.

I see you sitting all alone sitting in silent mode
I dim the noise down very low, here we go
You're so intelligent
You could be a historian
You're so intelligent
You could be a physicist in the US
You're so intelligent
You could be a part...time...economist

And then to seal the deal
I do my maths,
I do my A-level maths

It's twelve oh two
Just me and you
And seven other dudes
Around you in the silent study

I draw you near
Let's get outta here.
Let's get on Al's scooter
I'll move the wireless router!

Now I can't believe
That I'm sharing my internet with the most intelligent guy I have ever seen
With a router
Ooooooohhh.

Why don't we leave?
Let's go to my house and we can foos each other up on the table
Oh no. I don't mind taking it slow-ho-ho, no-ho-ho, yeah (10-1).

Cause you're so intelligent
Like a TV
Or a high-class dolphin
You're so intelligent
Mmm, you could be a part-time economist.

But you'd probably have to keep your auditing job -
A part-time economist!
Spending part of your time, modelling (econometrics),
and part of your time, next to meeeeeeeeee!

My kitchen is usually tidier than this...

Hello 2009

2009-01-01T13:00:00.002Z

Not bad so far. Already gone for a jog and 20 (yes, twenty) push-ups, not to mention 20 (yes, again, twenty) sit-up-like things. 2009 is the year I get fit.

The plan is for a mental/physical/spiritual/emotional work out every morning.

Do a bit of Sudoku, a jog, do some praying and read a bit of the Bible, then maybe watch some Hollyoaks and experience a whole range of emotions (apathy, anger, bewilderment, disgust, indifference, amusement, despair, happiness (when it finishes)). Whether I can manage to do them all simultaneously is a big challenge but I'm willing to give it a go.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to blog about some more upbeat things as well as all the lovely deep stuff I've previously talked about. Don't worry, however - even though you may think from the beginning of this post that I'm going to go all "Today I ate a cheesy toastie - it was nice. Then I watched a DVD." on you, I won't; it will still be high-quality content.

Happy New Year to you, one and all.

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T19:45:00.000Z

When, on the 19th of September, I said that later that week I'd take a look back at the previous year, I didn't think it'd take quite this long. I would do it all in a post now, but it'd be super long, plus I guess I should do some socialising on New Year's Eve(!). Instead here are some headings, which I will elaborate on more in the next month or so (probably after my exams have finished!), that will provide some thoughts about what I've done, thought, said and been in 2008 (and cheekily some of 2007 as well...).

Things I've done

Had my first 'proper' job
Met a multitude of people
Made a difference in many individual's lives
Spent a ridiculous amount of time on the BBC Football website, even though I don't really care about football anymore
Been deeply impacted by a lot of people
Thought about reading a lot of books, and read none of them
Successfully 'got over' TV and gaming (now for the internet...)
Made some great friends

Things I've realised

I have a lot of potential
'If you're good enough you're old enough'
I worry a lot about a lot of things
There are quite a lot of Christians out there, and there's an awful lot of theology
I shouldn't constantly weigh others down with ALL my concerns
God makes the big things clear
There's a lot more to this world than we think
It is very easy to make a difference in other people's lives
I need to judge other people less
I'm actually doing a pretty good job with my life
The world is very broken
God doesn't require that my theology has got it all nailed
I do need to chill out from time to time (it's called a Sabbath)
I'm loved by a lot of people
Google is amazing
I love a lot of people
I need to find my identity in Christ, and not in what other people think of me, and how they act towards me
Blogging can be good fun, and you can have some interesting things to say (sometimes)

Messages at Christmas Time

2008-12-28T20:17:00.000Z

I figured I'd check out what our head of state had to say on Christmas Day and it was all quite nice, but maybe too nice. In this year's message, a more sombre mood was conveyed, to be expected given the credit crunch and all has come with it. She spoke of how through the years those that have been happiest are those "who have lived the most outgoing and unselfish lives; the kind of people who are generous with their talents or their time". The speech meanders on a bit, lots of things that perhaps you'd expect, and then she 'drops the J-bomb', as my housemate Al has so beautifully put it in the past:

"I hope that, like me, you will be comforted by the example of Jesus of Nazareth who, often in circumstances of great adversity, managed to live an outgoing, unselfish and sacrificial life. Countless millions of people around the world continue to celebrate his birthday at Christmas, inspired by his teaching."

I can't help but think it all sounds a bit 'PC'. Hopefully she mentions Him because she wants to, because she follows Him and trusts in Him. But there must be some rule or some person that is saying "No, you'll sound a bit weird, so tone it down. Make him out to be a good teacher or something, but nothing more."

What was very interesting was to see the Alternative Christmas Message, which was shown on Channel 4, controversially delivered by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran. It was actually quite refreshing to hear how he spoke. To hear a man speak so openly, with conviction, unashamedly, about God, was something that we in Britain can only dream of. Of course there are major concerns about whether he practices what he preaches in this message, and I disagree about who he believes Jesus is, but a lot of what he says I believe to be true. Only when this country, and the rest of the world, turns back to God will it start to see real solutions. There's no promise for our lives to be problem free, but be living in step with God we learn to be dependent on Him, not on our own wealth, to hunger after a deeper sense of meaning, not a larger house, and we'll be fighting to see his Kingdom come to earth, not just defending our own particular 'kingdom'.

But it does remind me of a video I came across last year of the Queen's first ever televised speech, broadcast in 1957. This has been a long post, so I won't comment any more, but I'll leave you with an almost prophetic quote from her speech:

"That it is possible for some of you to see me today is just another example of the speed at which things are changing all around us. Because of these changes I am not surprised that many people feel lost and unable to decide what to hold on to and what to discard. How to take advantage of the new life without losing the best of the old.

But it is not the new inventions which are the difficulty. The trouble is caused by unthinking people who carelessly throw away ageless ideals as if they were old and outworn machinery.

They would have religion thrown aside, morality in personal and public life made meaningless, honesty counted as foolishness and self-interest set up in place of self-restraint.

At this critical moment in our history we will certainly lose the trust and respect of the world if we just abandon those fundamental principles which guided the men and women who built the greatness of this country and Commonwealth.

Today we need a special kind of courage, not the kind needed in battle but a kind which makes us stand up for everything that we know is right, everything that is true and honest. We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics so that we can show the world that we are not afraid of the future."

Joy at Christmas

2008-12-25T23:55:00.001Z

Getting old really does change your view of Christmas. Gone are the days of going to bed in anticipation of the stocking, of the presents, of Christmas lunch and of seeing loads of family. The magic of the stocking has gone, no-one seems to give you presents once you get to 21, family members have spouses and other places to be, plus because your sister goes to Florida with her boyfriend and his family you end up having your Christmas meal on Christmas Eve and eating Chinese for lunch on Christmas day. Things just aren't quite the same.

I now have a deeper appreciation of the meaning of Christmas (thanks in part to Dan Golding's epic text message), but even that isn't too special as it's more of a year-round thing for me. TV lost it's appeal long ago, lack of practice means my sister's guitar is joyless, and there's only so many sweets I can eat when I'm not even hungry. For the first time this break revision was actually pretty appealing. It's not that it's been a bad day by any means, it's just, well, different. I remember leaving my cousin's house last year - with the massive family in a massive house with a massive TV and a massive quantity of food - and the lyrics 'There Must Be More Than This' came into my head. And I couldn't really think of a better way to put it to be honest.

But it's in this mediocrity that I've seen how other people have faced their Christmases. I heard from one friend who received nothing, said that their dad was going to take the presents they gave him to a charity shop, and had the first meeting with their mother in many many months cancelled at the last minute. I read a blog entry about a guy I used to know really well, who when I left London was recovering from alcoholism, but now is a complete mess. Another guy I knew from London, whom I saw only last week in his nice new apartment, was in immense physical pain as we spoke on the phone today, him sitting alone in his apartment and telling me not to ask the obvious festive question as the answer would be that he wasn't. Finally I think too of the guy from my Church who I had lunch with the other day, whose wife has extremely severe cancer, meaning they face the pain of great uncertainty of what is going on, where it will will lead and what it will be like.

And it makes me realise, I take so much for granted.

The dream is not over

2008-12-12T18:50:00.002Z

An interesting talk at the CU (Christian Union) meeting last night.

The key phrase from the speaker for me was that "When the President is dead, the dream is over", in reference to figures such as JFK, and also the hysteria being whipped up for Obama - the dreams these candidates can create. His suggestion was that the disciples would have felt this for themselves as Jesus, their Messiah, was crucified and in the days that followed - he was not who he said he was; the dream was over.

I thank God that he is not dead, that the dream is alive, and that the dream is a guaranteed reality.

I couldn't sleep the other night...

2008-11-29T15:15:00.004Z

I've been helping out at a Bible Study in town since I came back to uni, which has been an amazing thing to be involved in, with 99% of those that come being marginalised from society in some way or other. One guy who came recently is living in Julian House (JH) currently, and after seeing him in town a couple of times in the week I was disappointed to not see him on Wednesday night. On the way home I decided to pay a visit to JH and see if he was there, and we had a chat. C is a really great guy, and you wouldn't think to look at and speak to him that he was 'on the streets'. We spoke for a while and then I left, saying I'd see him soon.

As I was leaving I spoke briefly to those sitting on the steps of Manvers Street Baptist Church, above JH. I found this really tough. Many of these people, probably between their late 30s and early 50s, were acting as though they were in their late teens, and, well, they just seemed pretty messed up. Just as I was about to leave though, I could see that one of the guys was practically (if not actually) out cold. I didn't now what to do, but, with them close to JH, and having said a word to one of the others to make sure he was alright, I left them.

On the way home thought I kept thinking "should I have stayed?", "should I go back - pray with them, chat with them, call an ambulance?". I got home and was going to bed, and really felt as though I should go back. You start to think, is that me thinking this or is God speaking to me? I think I would have gone if I hadn't had to be up early, although at the back of my mind I was thinking God'd give me the strength to get through the day.

I wrestled with it and was going to go, but didn't in the end, but I just couldn't sleep for more than 30 mins or so at a time. I don't think I felt particularly guilty, which made me think maybe it was God speaking to me, but, I dunno, I just didn't go.

It brought up two things in my mind.

Firstly, I still don't appear to be getting any better at hearing God's voice, mainly because my prayer life is pretty rubbish, and that I seem to pray more when I'm down or need things - not a good way to build any relationship!

Secondly though, it reminded me of the reason why I started this blog. You see I went to bed thinking about the prayer meeting I would lead in the morning, having in my mind Psalm 23. What a beautiful Psalm about God's protection for his children, for his flock, that he gives us peace. But as I lay in my bed, squirming at whether I was making the right choice, this didn't seem to be the picture I had. Instead I thought of Luke 9:23-24, and taking up my cross. I didn't feel particularly peaceful, and there seemed to be a tension between these two passages. But the more I thought about it the more I realised that to have the peace from Psalm 23 you need to have the commitment of Luke 9:23-24. And as I type now, I'm realising that to have the strength to do what is asked in Luke 9:23-24 we need the the protection, comfort and unfailing love of Psalm 23, as we carry our crosses through the darkest valleys.

If we expect following God to be just 'Psalm 23' we'll be too comfortable and when trials come along we'll be unprepared. But nor can we just look at the Luke passage, and expect our lives to be a joyless struggle as we follow Him.

We pick up our crosses and we follow him, safe in the knowledge that he is our Shepherd, the Shepherd who will never let one sheep go astray.

Culture Clash: Christianity and the West

2008-11-23T21:55:00.000Z

Over the last year or so, as I've delved further into the Bible, the Church and the World, there've been many occasions when I've been left disillusioned about it all. Of course, I expect to be disappointed by the world as the world has a different master, but almost as often I have been left despairing about the Church, believers, and how their actions measure up against the Bible. I'm not talking about people slipping up, about having good intentions but getting it wrong, I'm talking about systematic institutions, actions and beliefs of Christians and Churches that seem to be in stark contrast to 'Biblical Christianity'.

It frustrates me how modern-day Christians can read through the Bible and mock individuals and nations for how they acted, looking down on them and making them out to be stupid, whilst sitting on their high horse. "How can you worship statues when God has shown himself so magnificently?" they say; "How can you think it is fine to sleep around and to not uphold the sanctity of marriage" think others; "How can you reject what Jesus has done and think circumcision and all the other laws are still necessary" scoffs someone else, as they open their copy of the Daily Mail, nodding in agreement with their victimisation of the poor, the alien and the downtrodden.

Somewhere along the line, Christians' beliefs as citizens of heaven have become merged with the beliefs of citizens of the UK and The West. In this series I'll try to dissect what I see as some of the manifestations of this culture clash (or more accurately the seeming lack of culture clash...) - feel free to tell me whether you think I'm right or wrong!

"May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

2008-11-11T15:50:00.001Z

The title of this entry is a passage that has really spoken to me ever since I read how it is the one prayer that Jesus prayed that has yet to be answered.

I have at the same time been made aware of an intriguing situation in the Middle East, whereby six different denominations share the same building, The Holy Sepulchre, traditionally recognised as the place of Christ's crucifixion (no idea how true this is). A great story so far, but not when you consider that the reason I have heard about them is the continual rows and bickering amongst them. Most recently police had to separate Greek Orthodox and Armenian monks who were arguing about the Greeks' monk being placed in the shrine during an Armenian holy week.

Is this the face of Christianity to the world? People obsessed with ritual, about what goes here and who goes there, when and where they do things, even to the extent that the second-greatest commandment - to love others as themselves - goes straight out the window. Looking at the scenes, and what caused them, I doubt the first commandment to love the Lord their God is number one on their priority list either.

The passage this entry's title comes from is paraphrased by 'The Message' as:
The same glory you gave me [Christ], I gave them [those that follow Christ after his death], so they'll be as unified and together as we are — I in them and you [God the Father] in me. Then they'll be mature in this oneness, and give the godless world evidence that you've sent me and loved them in the same way you've loved me.

Any sensible person would look at the rows of these people and think "these Christians can't even agree with themselves - do I want to be a part of this arrogant, selfish religion?". How can you say to a non-believer that God loves them if your actions don't demonstrate this. Tellingly, and actually rather amusingly (if I didn't laugh I'd cry), the key to that building is owned by two Muslim families.

But it's easy to point the finger. I've heard so many Christians keen to stress their particular theology, to stick to their 'untouchables', placing their distinctiveness over the Church's unity. Often I want to do things my way, and if someone wants to do something their way they can do it, but not with my support.

If this Church, God's Church, the bride of Christ, is to be effective in communicating the love God has for the unsaved in this world, it must be united, trusting in the truth and love of Jesus Christ.

After all Jesus only has one bride. He is not a polygamist.

What are they searching for and what's the answer they need?

2008-11-08T13:16:00.001Z

I've just found one of the lab applications on Google called Google Trends. On it you can search terms to see how their popularity has changed over time and in different cities.

Having a look at 'God' there appears to be an upward trend in news articles. Also interesting is which countries have the greatest number of searches. The US up there at number 2 isn't a surprise, neither too is Australia at 3, given, amongst over things, the popularity of Christian music in the general charts. More surprising is number 4, India, and even more so the fact the number 1 is the Philippines.

What do these (admitadely limited) results demonstrate? That more and more people are interested in Christianity? That more and more people want to hear about the good news of Jesus Christ? Well a similar search for the term 'Jesus' has slightly different results. There's still an increasing trend, but it's not as pronounced. Similarly whilst Philippines are still there, India has disappeared, whilst the South American nations have made an appearance. Comparing the two makes for interesting viewing too. Peru, for example, doesn't seem to care about God, but in comparison is positively intrigued by Jesus, and a similar result is observed for the South American (predominantly Catholic) nations. Most of the other nations though, whether it be the West or nations such as India, are 'searching for God' but not for 'Jesus'.

Maybe then, whilst God is increasingly on the agenda, along with spirituality more generally, people are not necessarily turning to the Christianity for answers to their questions. Whether it be the (often accurate) negative impression of Christianity presented to many (wagging fingers rather than open arms), whether it be a lack of willingness to admit someone else is right, perhaps a longing to discover something intimate rather than something of empty ritual believing in a distant, aloof God who doesn't bother to show himself, it is clear (not just from these results) that people don't see Christ as an answer to their 'spiritual' questions.

As a Christian, in this age where people are reaching out, my job is to be honest to be open, not to condemn, only to come alongside individuals and love them, pointing to my Saviour and the man, the God I believe to be their Saviour.

A nice letter

2008-11-08T12:09:00.001Z

A letter from a man who is turning his life around.

Another interesting article from the presidential election

2008-11-04T13:04:00.005Z

Obama and McCain switch race in poster campaign encouraging voters to focus on the issues, not skin colour.

A 'black' day in the news

2008-11-04T13:01:00.003Z

The main three stories of last night's news made for interesting viewing:
1) Lewis Hamilton becoming the youngest and only ever black Formula One World Champion.
2) Barack Obama potentially being 36 hours away from becoming the most powerful man in the world, and the first ever black man to hold this position.
3) Conflict in DR Congo and the great damage to many civilians' lives.

Each story focused on a person or group of people of black ancestry, something which they could not decide, but each with difference consequences. For the people of DR Congo, of course the colour of their skin is not an explanation for the violence by any means, but it is representative of how the plight of a people can be dependent on where they are born, not decisions they have made. For whatever reason this conflict started, it is clear that the, predominantly black, civilians of this nation are to feel the worst of this unrest, with none of it their fault.

Looking at the other two stories, we see two men for which the issue of race, whilst by no means key, is obviously a factor.

A few days prior to the final race, Lewis Hamilton was subject to racist abuse on a Spanish website, and in the run-up to the race the fact that there's never been a black champion was repeatedly mentioned.

Then for Barack Obama, the fact he is of African-American descent is inescapable. This has lead to concerns that the polls may be misrepresented with people lying to avoid looking racist - he may end up with less votes than the polls suggest. However, there is also a sense that more African-Americans will vote than usually would, as they wish to elect Obama, who they feel will represent them better than previous candidates.

Whatever the reasons, it looks clear that Obama will win, and as the Guardian picks up, this could be 'a great week in black history'.

The thing that really struck me though is that, although I don't like it when sports stories, or other things of minimal importance, are the first thing on the news, Lewis Hamilton's story highlighted something brilliant. No longer do we need to see a situation where black individuals are discriminated against for their skin colour, nor where people are looked upon favourably because of the previous experiences of blacks. Rather, the man who is the best driver in the world, and just so happens to be black, can claim the title to prove he is the best, and no one can take that away from him.

New beginnings

2008-09-19T17:30:00.004+01:00

Although being in the education system has its downsides (before my recent break I'd done 7 years straight of exams) there are also many upsides. One is that there always seems to be the potential for a new start and to make changes. Of course we have 'New Year', but you're off for a day and then back and nothing is really any different. But with these first 20 or so years of your life there's a great big break every so often, with lots of opportunities to take hold of, meaning lives seem to alter greatly every summer, not to mention throughout the rest of the year.

And so as I approach my last year in full-time education there is another chance to look back on the summer, the past year and on changes in general, but also to look forward and think about what could be and where this next year (and the rest of my life) might lead.

So over the next few days I'll have a look back and then a little look forward of what I think this year (or so) might look like.

Sowing the seeds of love, or of exclusion?

2008-07-20T01:43:00.002+01:00

On Friday night a friend and I were outside our church, waiting to see if any of the guys from youth club would turn up, as it was closed this week. Having gone to see some of the guys I was walking back when I saw a woman, can in hand, pulling (presumably) her child, about 7/8, up by the hair. As the child swung for the mother, the mother retaliated by smacking her child on the face. This carried on a few times. The father, also can in hand, seemed to having nothing to say about this. With it being in the middle of the park, I was a bit taken aback, and I just stared at her for a while.

As she continued, I felt I had to at least say something. I walked over to them and, inquisitive and perhaps even smiling, she looked at me. All I said was something like "I'm sorry but..." and she told me to butt out, whilst the guy probably threatened me too. Of course it was what I expected. What amazed me though was how until I said those words she genuinely seemed to think that I could just as easily have been about to say "Alright?" or "Nice day...", as though what she'd just done in full view was perfectly normal.

The child later ran off, and then after the father followed her he came back and the rest of the family went home. I don't know where she was. I don't know if she got home. I don't know whether she wanted to go home. I don't know whether worse happens there. But I won't be surprised if, if it continues, one day she runs off and never comes back.

The Salvation Army recently released a report, 'The Seeds of Exclusion', for which interviews were conducted with many homeless people. It was found "that poor relationships with mothers often lead to antisocial behaviour throughout life". In addition, "[m]any of those affected are now themselves parents alienated from their own children". I couldn't help but wonder whether I was watching one of those seeds being sown. Perhaps the mother herself had experienced similar.

On returning home I had an interesting conversation with my housemate and his girlfriend about what I'd seen and about social ills in general. My housemate was keen to draw the line between poverty in the UK and in developing countries. He suggests that there are so many opportunities here that people are able to get out of it themselves, something those that are the poorest of the poor, living in third-world countries, simply don't have. I've often thought myself that poverty in the UK is practically optional. But what I've learnt over the last year is that the cause of poverty and other social ills in the UK is dramatically different to in the developing world. As the SA report suggests, the cause of a lot of poverty here is due to relationship breakdown. This could be with parents, but I have also spoken to people whose lives have crumbled after jobs have been lost, followed by their wife and then their kids, and eventually they're on the streets with alcohol, or worse, as their comfort. Whereas property rights, access to education and cheap credit are some of the major causes and solutions to third world problems, here it is relationships.

And that's why, whilst top-down policies may work elsewhere, they simply won't work here. If the problem is relationships you can't just give someone money. You can't just give them shelter. You can't just book them into detox. You need to get alongside them and befriend them. Show them that they are not forgotten. Show them that healing can come. Show that relationships can be forged just as much as they can be broken. X amount of funding, Y number of rehab programmes and Z new taxes and laws may look good on a list of things that have been done, but will they ever really solve anything by themselves?

So I believe relationships are key. And I also believe that it starts with you and me. We need to weed out seeds of exclusion and start sowing seeds of love.

Something a little less ordinary

2008-07-18T14:13:00.003+01:00

I see today that a 'heavy metal monk' has released his second album.

The story makes for an interesting read, and I've got to say that there are bits where I think "Really? How can you do that?". However, I really appreciated the last few lines.

The story concludes by saying:
"While Brother Cesare always wears his traditional brown robe and sandals as a reminder that he has chosen a life of devotion to God, he is keen to distinguish established religion from faith, and from proselytising."

I think a lot of people looking in from the outside really don't appreciate this, and this is often the Christian's fault. The hear about the rules and regulations of religion, but not the abundant life that comes from faith in and relationship with God.

My Facebook 'religious views' says "turn and live", and this is a paraphrase of the conclusion of Ezekiel 18 (the whole chapter is definitely worth a read). And whilst some 'evangelicals' will say that this sounds very liberal, it is the essence of the gospel. All we need to do is live out the fact that to have true life, fulfilling life, you can only do so if you are in relationship with God and have belief in the Christ, and all that comes as a result of that.

Or as Brother Metal puts it:
"I do it to convert people to life, to understand life, to grab hold of life, to savour it and enjoy it. Full stop."

Not again... something needs to change

2008-07-17T23:11:00.004+01:00

It's been a very interesting week so far with lots going on. Today I've been able to catch up with my cousin, who's coming to the end of his training before going into full service for the fire brigade. It's always good to catch up with people you haven't spoken to and this was no exception.

However, as we walked down the road to the pub, across the road there was a police van, a couple of police and tape cordoning off the street. We went in and sat down, and watched as an ambulance left, as more police arrived and as over a dozen police conducted an interview with reporters. It was obvious what had happened.

It's crazy, it really is. I don't understand it. I don't understand how people can wish to cause harm to other people, whatever the circumstances. But, whilst everyone will condemn what has happened, the trouble is that the seeds of it are demonstrated all around us. People just don't care about others, unless there is something in return for them. Cars/bikes go through red lights, because their convenience is more important than others' safety. Individuals gossip about those they know that have made a mistake or acted wrongly, because they want to be the centre of attention. Others will turn to petty crime like jumping on buses for free, taking stuff from work, or throwing their rubbish on the street, because they know they won't get caught, or they think it doesn't affect anyone.

I've heard politicians speak endlessly about how we're going to 'beat gun and knife crime'. I've been to many prayer meetings which seek to ask for an end to the violence. I've even heard politicians speak at prayer meetings and lift their prayers for an end to it all.

But this is just it. We don't get it. We want a quick fix. We want to roll out a policy, announce an amount of money that's been spent, a number of police officers that have been deployed. Or we want to spend a few hours saying prayers, asking God to intervene, seeking a divine stoppage to these atrocities. I believe policy can work, I also believe strongly that prayer works, but I also believe that this society is scarred, that it is fallen, and that the only way to bring healing to it is to live out God's standards - Kingdom values - and to change this society from its very core.

We need to start with ourselves, the choices we make and, much more than that, what our character, our essence, our very being is. When we change our heart, our actions will follow. Galatians 5:22-23 says that when we change our inner desires our life will be one of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control". That's what we need to bring about a revolution within this society. Only when we all do this, and it becomes not a chore, but the natural thing for us to do, will society begin to mend. Only then will these scenes of police officers, cars and tape be a thing of the past.

And I can't wait.

I've got my rights y'know!

2008-07-08T14:23:00.004+01:00

For some reason society has decided that because we're fortunate enough to be born, we're owed some kind of debt. No-one knows exactly who owes it to us, but nevertheless, we have 'rights' and someone or something must see they are fulfilled and not infringed.

OK, I'm using hyperbole here, but essentially that's what it boils down to when you think about it, and it's been getting my back up for a while. The shift from annoyance to blogable material came this morning when I read the front page of The Times. It was with regards to David Cameron's remarks that a lot of social ills are caused be individual's decisions and actions. Or as The Times put it "David Cameron tells the fat and the poor: take responsibility". He suggests, quite sensibly, that whilst circumstance and other things beyond your control have a large bearing on your life, often personal choice has just a large an impact, if not larger (he gives an example of the decision to not exercise or to eat too much).

This fits nicely alongside the rights issue. We need to get out of this victim mentality and stop assuming that the reason we're in the mess we're is because of someone or something else, and that the solution will come, similarly, from somewhere apart from ourselves.

As I said at the head of this post, some seem to think that being born means we're owed something. I fundamentally disagree with this, but it's undeniable that every human has basic human needs. These could be listed as: clothing; shelter; food; water; heating; sanitation; education; basic health care. This should be the basis of any discussion, and so far all I have said is that they exist, I haven't said what the response should be, if any at all.

By shifting our phraseology from 'rights' to 'needs', this whole debate (including the sensible, much-welcomed discussion of 'basic human rights') becomes a lot more realistic and sensible and we can start to make real progress. It is no longer assumed that those basic requirements will be fulfilled, but there instead is a dialogue and consensus that needs to be created about what to do about these needs.

And this is the response we require: we must acknowledge that there are basic human needs, and from that we must agree, as a society, that these needs must be met for everybody everywhere in the world. This requires us as citizens to buy into some form of contract of shared responsibility to meet these needs. Of course, it may be that they are met by the individual themselves. I pay my own rent, buy my own food, pay my utility bills, etc. However, it might not be possible for some to be met by individuals themselves. I doubt whether I could have afforded my education costs, and perhaps would only have stayed for 7 or 8 years. Much more seriously, there are many in the world without access even to the most basic of needs, such as water and sanitation.

So we must agree that we'll have in place a safety net that says people will not fall below a certain level, they'll have their basic needs met, whether they're from down my road, in my country, or in the darkest recesses of the developing world. We'll rediscover the willful responsibility of paying taxes to help ensure no-one on this earth goes hungry, of giving up some time during our week to give something to those who otherwise would go without, and of taking action when we see that others need our help. We must admit that whilst I have needs of my own, others do too, and together we're deciding to ensure that they are met.

It's down to us to make this choice, only we can decide to stick up for those in need, and it's time we changed our mindset from "what can others do for me?" to "what can I do for others?".

Truth or the easy option?

2008-07-05T23:20:00.003+01:00

I've just been to the commissioning of some new Salvation Army officers (ministers) and it was a very interesting, inspiring and challenging time, as these things often are.

But whilst these occasions are often a source of inspiration, they can often be a source of frustration too. In the afternoon meeting, in which the ceremony took place, there was a song entitled 'Dear Lord, I do surrender'. Now this is one of those songs that has a sentiment that a lot of other songs express too. "I'm giving up life and following God" the songs will say, and it makes it sound incredibly easy. I often nowadays fall silent during these songs and just try to contemplate what it means, and this happened again when we got to the second verse:

Too long at ease in Zion
I’ve been content to dwell,
While multitudes are dying
And sinking into Hell.
I can no more be careless,
And say there’s naught to do,
The fields are white to harvest
And labourers are few.

How on earth can you not be challenged by that verse? People are on their way to Hell and I'm saying I'm going to respond? That's not something to say lightly. And yet the third verse confirms:

O hear, thou God of Heaven,
The vows that now I make!

So everyone there was making a vow to give their life to God and live for him. But surely no matter what their intentions the song makes no sense. Either they're lying and they're not giving their lives to God, or else, if hundereds of people in the room and millions more who have song are telling the truth, then the 'labourers' really aren't that few.

I suppose what I'm saying is that for our songs to have any meaning, we have to think about what we're singing and be honest in what we proclaim. It's easy to go along with the crowd, but harder to stand there and say "you know what, I don't know if I'm actually ready for this yet". I'm really hoping that the Church will rediscover a deep longing to proclaim truth (even if it means making ourselves look like 'bad Christians') and not just do what's expected. If we're content with anything less than truth, if we're content with not being challenged, 'content to dwell', then we won't be changed, and neither will this world.

Why the name?

2008-05-10T22:49:00.002+01:00

Thought it'd be good of me to explain the title of this blog.

The main title essentially describes how I'm trying to work out and uncover what is true in life. Truth is everywhere and it's just waiting to be discovered. I recently read a book called 'Velvet Elvis' by Rob Bell. In it, amongst other things, he speaks of how if he sees truth anywhere he'll claim it for himself. Writing as a Christian, he believes that Christ is the way, the TRUTH and the life, and yet he describes how he can look at, for example, the practices of some groups of Muslims in Turkey (rather than getting a mortgage they build their homes bit by bit to avoid accumulating debt) and claim that 'truth' for himself. God created this world and is in this world, he figures, and so truth isn't limited to just what the Christians say, what Church says, or even what the Bible says, but can be found in the world around us. So this blog is an attempt to seek out truth in the world, and I'd like it if you can join in too, by commenting on my posts.

The sub-title perhaps needs more explanation. Let me say first of all that this isn't an announcement that I have a terminal illness. It's inspired by many thoughts I've had over the last year or so. Firstly, I remember seeing the title of a song by Muse, 'Thoughts of a dying atheist', and wondering how much those thoughts would differ from those of a dying Christian. Would the Christian have more of a sense of hope, or one of confusion, as to why this was happening to them? How would I feel if I was dying?

But this phrase has taken on a whole new meaning to me. Since I became a Christian, in the true sense of the word, (when I was 17/18) I've been learning more and more about who God is, who the man called Christ who walked the earth was, and what God wants for and from me. I've learnt of his love, of his forgiveness, of his mercy, but whilst some seem to say that all you need to do in life is believe, I see in the gospels and in the books that follow that being a Christian was, and is, much more than this. To be a Christian, you have to die. Now for some this has meant physical death as a result of their choice to follow Christ. But for all it means 'dying to the sinful nature' (i.e. stopping doing the things that are not good, are not what God intended), turning around, and living in God's ways. Death was implied by Jesus when he said "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me", as the cross was what Jesus carried on the way to his execution. So what does it mean to die in this sense? And what does it cost me? The important answer to this comes from Paul, a man claiming to have had a vision of Jesus after his death (one that made Paul blind, and caused a massive humbling and about-turning in his life). In one of the letters Paul wrote to the early Christians, many of which made it into the Bible, he says "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain". But I want a deeper sense of what this 'death' means. Am I dying? Am I dying as I write this? Was I dying this morning but then made a few choices which brought me 'back to life'?

So it is from these thoughts that I start this blog, in the hope that this search for truth by a (sometimes) dying Christian will bring me, and maybe others, something closer to an answer.

Hasn't it all been said already?

2008-04-22T02:14:00.003+01:00

Entering my 22nd year, I've been moved to start up one of these things. I've often thought people who maintain these kind of sites must be a bit arrogant, writing their blog for all to see, as though what they say is so important; what can they possibly say that can be so interesting? Well I guess I still believe that to some extent, but over the last few years I have come to one realisation that enables me to transcribe my thoughts here without feeling as though I'm being excessively cocky.

I've come to realise that there doesn't come a point when you are a certified 'life expert', a time when you have made the grade and assume the right to live life making correct choices. I first realised this when I reached 18. For me, when I was growing up 18 looked like the age of enlightenment: your parents had all the necessary experience and knew everything; authors of books, people on TV and all the others expressing their point of view knew all the facts about how things really were; and, well, all the laws and social norms were in place because of their self-evident correctness and completeness. The level of understanding that produced and sustained all this would in turn be obtained by me on my transition into adulthood.

Hitting 18 made me realise that, actually, I was no different from when I was 17, 16, maybe even a growing 10-year-old. Of course things had changed with regards to my levels of maturity and understanding, but essentially I was no more qualified to make perfect decisions than I ever had been. I was quickly learning that things aren't 'black and white'. This isn't to say that I buy into the notion that every opinion is equally valid and whatever anyone says is true ('post-modernism' I believe you call it if you are quite pretentious, or at least something to do with that). I believe truth is there and can be found in any and every situation, but it will most likely be grey.

Anyway, that's my justification for starting this blog, to add my perception on what the true shade of grey in life is. We all have a valuable contribution to make in this search and so, whilst I hope you enjoy my take, maybe you can also chip in with what shade you think it is.